Building the New Gaming Table

After discovering the world of Warhammer 40k and later the proliferation of board games stemming from Wil Wheaton’s Table Top I have discovered a love for table top gaming as a hobby that greatly surpasses any other purely entertainment hobby I currently have.

Moving into a new place I shed the limitations of space and decided I wanted to have the proper environment to play all the games I love. To do so I needed a gaming table. And since I have yet to find enough money tree seeds or magic beans enough to buy one, I turned to making one as the next best thing with the added bonus of making it to my personal specs rather than finding one that’s “close enough.”

My own carpentry skills are minimal at best. My friend Mike and I once tried to make a smaller skateboard from a bigger one and created something that was somehow completely incapable to be placed in either the “skate” or “board” category. Mike said we wouldn’t even be able to make a 2×4. In his words we would end up with a “2×4-5-6.”

My dad however is quite skilled so I enlisted him to do a lot of the woodworking, with me there to support and guide design.

I originally wanted a large 4×6 table (standard games of 40k, big enough for full Arkham Horror) with pull-out player places and shelves underneath. The realities of moving a table that size quickly set in and I went with basic 4 legs, solid top, moulding on the edges. All in all it worked very well and after a coat of red chestnut stain, it has a nice antique furniture look to it:

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The top is sanded ply, light, strong, and surprisingly attractive.

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My dad’s design for the legs made them right angles that wedged into the corners of the table. This makes them very strong and prevents shaking or bowing as much as possible.

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The moulding on the top is actually crown or window moulding. It gives the table an attractive finished edge and provides a natural lip to prevent cards, board, or game pieces from sliding off and even a place to firmly hold a Realm of Battle should I ever buy one.

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The legs are bolted on with two decorative bolts each. This makes them removable so the table can fit through doors and down hallways.

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By forgoing shelving underneath it ended up being very spacious and it’s a comfortable 30” high.

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After all was said and done the cost was between 150-175 after stain and brushes. The largest single expense was the sanded ply, which was $49.99 the rest of the wood pieces being pretty inexpensive, especially seeing as how several of each were needed.

It was a great project and will hopefully be the home for many good gaming sessions to come!

Off the Edge: A Commentary on Forums and Commentaries…

Off the Edge

Everyone needs a good rant. And it’s been a while since I’ve taken the time to go off a bit. It’s been a busy few weeks so I thought I’d take a break to let off some steam.

A lot of people use Facebook to keep in touch with friends and family; share random things about themselves; or surreptitiously stalk people. I use mine almost entirely for news and the occasional non sequitur. I’m a fan of several things, including boxing, films, and miniature wargaming. And news flows freely on Facebook in the form of rumors, leaks, and on-the-scene reports.  The news is almost always welcome; the response to news in the form of comments rarely is… I thought I’d let some gripes go about the mood of internet commentary:

1.)    Negativity: I’ve been to several forum sites for ALL my favorite hobbies and the commentary of the reading public is about 90% negative. And of the negativity about 80% of those aren’t just dismissive but also hateful. Games Workshop releases a new model and “it’s the ugliest, most expensive thing ever,”   a new movie comes out and it’s “boring, slow, and overrated,” a fighter wins a fight he was expected to lose and it was because his highly favored opponent was “old, washed up, or over-trained.”   I made similar comments in my How to be a Fan posting series, but why is EVERYTHING the worst thing ever? Rarely will you see some positive comments, but forums and article comments don’t seem to be a place for discussion any more. They’re all just places for people to bitch… Apparently those who remain silent are the quiet approvers…

2.)    Pop-Cultured: This one isn’t related to just forums, but following themed news sites (sci-fi sites, gaming sites, fan sites) they all seem to be obsessed with the same few topics that everyone is obsessed with and post them endlessly. For a few quick examples out of MANY:

  1. Nintendo Culture: Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw said it best; Nintendo has basically been making three games, the same three games over and over again for 30 years. And people freak out every time the new Zelda (which is just like the old Zelda) is released like it’s made out of gold…
  2. Game of Thrones: People love the show. I don’t particularly care for it (fantasy soap opera with nudity) but it’s all the posts talk about. Mostly they talk about characters dying. My thought, if all these characters die at random why would I care the least about any of them?
  3. Firefly: It got cancelled. Lots of great shows get cancelled. It’s not coming back. Saying it over and over doesn’t help.

So what’s the problem with these posts? Well we see about 800 Game of Thrones “these people died” posts a day. Meanwhile other great fantasy/sci fi topics are getting ignored by sites supposedly designed to discuss sci fi and fantasy but seem to be stuck in the same few loops. I think it would be remiss if themed sites ignored the most popular topics, but when 90% of topics ARE Nintendo or Game of Thrones the site has become a specified fan page. How about introducing people to some lesser-known material? Save “All Firefly All the Time” for the specific fan pages.

3.)    Memes: I won’t lie. I do find some of them hilarious. All the “Shut up and take my moneys” and Grumpy Cats make for good quick reference moods but they’ve become ridiculously overused. The evolution of the Meme is so fast even Professor Richard Dawkins’ head would spin. It’s gotten to the point where people almost talk in “Meme.” And they are almost always snark-based. So not only are people negative but they’re lazy and negative. Posters could use some training in how to be cleverly negative. Read this review or this review from Roger Ebert to see how it’s done. Just posting “meh” or the Picard face palm isn’t nearly so effective.

Yes I’m aware of the irony of complaining about internet complainers. But what can be done?

First, remember why you’re there. If you’re on a hobby site you’re there because SUPPOSEDLY you enjoy the hobby. Then why are you just complaining? Some forums have an active debate where people discuss merits and even theories, but many are just lines of hatred. The latest rulebook for Warhammer 40k hadn’t hit SHELVES yet and people were declaring they were quitting because it was the worst ever. Calm down. It’s a hobby. It’s for fun. If you’re not having fun do something else instead of bitching about why you’re not having fun playing something you haven’t played yet based on news you read 15 minutes ago.

Second, remember these are people you’re talking to not just screen names. Debating is good. We all have unique perspectives, but declaring someone’s opinion invalid simply because it disagrees with yours is non-sense. Could Ali beat Tyson? We’ll never know. But your guess is LITERALLY as good as mine. So just because we disagree doesn’t make either of us wrong. Also those about whom you’re spewing your venom are also people. Jervis Johnson is certainly not an idiot and wrote very complex rules for a very complex game in conjunction with several other game experts. If you can do better maybe you can make your own game (with blackjack! And hookers!) or maybe it’s easier to arm-chair general and criticize than actually DO something? Being proactive about things is hard but it’s actually progress rather than just whining.

Third, remember none of us are perfect. We will make mistakes, lose our rags, and make bad decisions; but remember it’s EASY to criticize, which is why the rewards for doing so are so low. It’s much riskier to actually be out there doing something, but the chances at achieving something and making an actual difference. If you’re ever proved wrong or change your opinion be gracious enough to admit it. You’ll be surprised how effective that is…

I know I’ve sounded like “can’t we all just get along” before, but it may not be the best philosophy, because we can’t and shouldn’t. Disagreement leads to new ideas (Thesis+Antithesis=Synthesis=NEW Thesis+Antithesis, etc.) but we can be respectful at all times. I’ve had many, many great debates with people and we were all are allowed to conclude our discussions as in the Napoleonic Wars, “in good order, with colors and arms.”

It’s just the internet. It’s hobbies. It’s entertainment, people. It’s NOT that critical.

Story of the Month: Crazy Car Crash Part 1

StoryoftheMonth

In 1989 my grandparents of all people got the coolest car I’d ever seen. I was 8, and they got a brand new Oldsmobile Cutless Supreme. An Olds the coolest car ever?   Oh yes. I remember the first time going for a ride in it; it was navy blue, was the quietest car I’d ever been in, and the dashboard panel looked like this:

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I felt like I was in the Millennium Falcon.

For years they had this car as their “backup” vehicle, driving either my grandfather’s Olds Eighty-Eight or their Ford Bronco depending on what their second car was at the time.

In 2001 they started looking for a new car. I was driving a Geo Prism at the time, mostly using it to go back and forth from college to home on the weekends. Since my G-parents wanted a new one my mom talked them into giving the Cutless Supreme to ME. I paid the registration fee alone and received the coolest car ever, awesome digital dash, very low mileage, still a shiny dark blue. I looked forward to going back to college (about 50 miles from home) just for the short, casual commute.

One fall weekend I was on the way back home to go to a library book sale. It was a clear, bright day, sunny and unseasonably warm, when my Cutless Supreme made its last journey…

I was in the left lane, moved into the right near my exit. I glanced into my rear view mirror and saw a white Mustang (see THIS post about Mustang drivers) racing up behind me. I’ve always heard that in times of danger “time slows” I think it’s more accurate to say “the mind races.” It’s in these moments, where adrenaline flows and heart rates thunder that we see things in the same way a hummingbird does…racing metabolism seemingly slowing the world around us…

I knew from the pace and timing the Mustang couldn’t or wouldn’t stop. Not only did it NOT stop it didn’t even slow down. I was struck in the rear driver’s side and PIT maneuvered off the interstate at about 65 miles an hour. I’ve always been told I have an absurdly good memory and in this case have distinct memories of what went through my mind. I actually remembered my driving training before being hit (“no matter what go off to the right if there is a problem, that way you’re more likely to NOT hit another vehicle,” which explains why my rear driver’s side was hit); I remember a stand of small trees and thinking “Good, they’re small trees that will stop me from continuing in the unstoppable plunge off the road without crushing me utterly;” I then remember seeing them go to my left and vanish from view as I spun. Apparently what happened next was the rear of the car struck a steel lamp post in the exit and the spin was brought to a sudden halt. When I made the trip home weeks later I saw navy blue paint about 6 feet up the post demonstrating how far up the car crumpled before arresting its momentum.

The next thing I remember is trying to open the driver’s side door, which was stuck. I got angry slid over to the passenger door and kicked it free. I crawled out and to my surprise people had already gathered. When did they have the time to do all that? One woman implored me to sit down, but I was too busy looking for my phone so I could call home to tell them what happened. A guy in scrubs rushed over and told me he was a LifeFlight Nurse from Vandy Hospital and asked me to sit down. He held my neck to prevent any further trauma and I tried to call home. Our home number had recently been changed (it had been the same since 1987) and after I dialed and handed the phone to nurse he said “the number says it isn’t available.” I responded, “Dammit, they just changed it. I swear this isn’t brain damage.” I dialed the new number and when my mom answered I said, “Mom I just got into a car accident.” She said, “How bad is it?” Not thinking I responded, “Well the LifeFlight Nurse is here.” To which I heard a, “WHAT?!” and Immediately clarified, “no, no he was just passing by!” (People don’t do that to your mothers…)

They loaded me into an ambulance on a big, orange plastic board and someone asked “What happened?” I had no idea who, I was strapped down staring at the ceiling of an emergency medical vehicle and responded, “Well…someone hit me.”

I was taken to a major ER where I received between 230-300 stitches and Dr. Grimmet (I still remember her name) stayed for over two hours (much to the chagrin of the other ER staff who wanted her to assist elsewhere) to finish suturing my left arm which needed by far the most work. I also got sutures on my eyelid which I won’t lie FREAKED me the EFF out.

After about 6 hours getting sewn up in the ER I went home and slept on the couch for a few hours. I woke up a couple times, once to see our cat, Sweetie Pie, peeking over the couch at me in awe and wonder almost saying, “You smell like the guy who lives here but you don’t look like him…” I met her gaze for a moment before she fled the scene in horror!

I actually couldn’t make any calls so I sent my RevPub partner an email telling her what happened before passing out (I have never lived down the fact that I related the crisis via email…) She called and talked to my mom to check on me. My grandfather showed up the next morning and said, “What did you do to my car?!” and a good laugh was had by all.

My dad went to the local wrecking yard to take pics for insurance purposes and here’s what he came back with. To this day I can’t help but think only a few months before I was in a Geo Prism…I don’t think it would’ve fared as well…

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Next month, the epic battle between a rear-end collision victim and his own insurance company!

Warhammer Rescues: Taurox the Brass Bull

Off The Top of My Head

Games Workshop has a reputation for occasionally making rules with no models. I’ve actually seen some complaints on this and it’s a trend they seem to be moving away from, however I feel that the spirit of this concept was to allow players and hobbyists to create their own versions of the character or unit in question using existing models as bases or even scratch building pieces.

I have a big Skaven army I got practically new on the sprue and Skaven remain my favorite fantasy battles army, however, I was able to get my hands on a great Beastmen army, in various stages of construction, last year and started to mess around with them a bit too. Though they seem to be one of the least popular choices, their personality appealed to me and this force came with lots of models and options, some of which are hard to find now.

One piece I got was an incomplete pewter Doombull.

It was a bare metal piece with no arms, weapon, or decorations I thought would be fun to convert into one of the Beastmen lords with no model, Taurox the Brass Bull.

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I used the rune-inscribed axes from the minotaur kit to make his “Rune Tortured Axes.”

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His shoulder guards are actually vambraces from the Cygor/Ghorgon kit I didn’t use. Because his body is metallic I got a chance to play with the Nihilic Oxide technical paint I’ve been wanting to try and gave his armor and ancient, oxidized tone to make it stand out from the copper-gold used on the rest of the model.

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I originally had a severed hand as base décor, but decided for someone as massive and vicious as Taurox that would never do… Using a Lord of the Rings Elf horseman archer, I cut his legs off and sculpted some guts out of green stuff. The head comes from a Skaven Stormvermin sprue (it was two heads clutched in a fangleader’s claws, I simply cut one off) and sculpted some hair out of more green stuff. Painting the guts was layers of Biel Tan Green, Carroburg Crimson, and Nurgle’s Rot to give it the slimy, transparent sheen.

Just to use the rest of the technical paints I hadn’t played with I used Agrellan Earth for the base.

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I hope GW keeps the rules without models in the army books and codexes for years to come. Creating your own versions are some of the most fun a hobbyist can have. You’ll never see two Tauroxes that look the same!

 

Check out my previous painting posts for more!

Black Reach

Dredtrukk

Warboss with Attack Squig

Boss Zagstruk

Stormboy Nob on Flying Base

Bad Moons Nazdreg

Dark Angels Dreadnought

Dark Angels Standard Bearer

Dark Angels Librarian

Warhammer 40k Scenery

40k Rescue: Blood Angels Land Raider

And for more 40k my Kharn illustration posts! Part 1 and Part 2.  And my fond farewell to the World of Battle.

My Favorite Modern Giant Monster Movies

Off The Top of My Head

Since Gareth Edward’s Godzilla is turning a bigger profit than the Nevada pleasure industry I thought it would be fun to share with some of the newer Big G fans some of my personal favorite, lesser known, Japanese Daikaiju films and series. I’m sticking with the Japanese film industry for these so there won’t be any Pacific Rims or Cloverfields on this list. And while fans may say “that’s not a lesser known film” these are just the films that, in my experience, Kaiju neophytes don’t seem to know about. In addition I’ve tried to include a broad spectrum of giant monster movies. Those for die hard monster fans, horror fans, comedy fans, even kids’ movies.

1.)    Godzilla Heisei Series: This series started with the epically hard to find (in the states at least) Godzilla 1985 or Godzilla Returns. Then followed a terrific series of movies with some of the most creative monsters Godzilla ever had to fight and some of the best sci-fi stories in giant monster movie history. These movies follow a broad continuity where the people don’t always track from one film to the next but the general concepts do. Godzilla is halfway between good guy and bad guy in this series. He looks badass and the series has a very satisfying arch. For those unfamiliar with Godzilla or trying to escape the goofy king of the monsters from the 60s and 70s, this is a great series to start with.

Heisei Godzilla is one Bad Dude.

 

Godzilla Heisei Series:

Godzilla 1985

Godzilla vs. Biollante

Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah

Godzilla vs. Mothra

Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla 2

Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla

Godzilla vs. Destoroyah

 

2.)    Gamera Heisei Series: I know a lot of people grew up with Gamera on MST3k and became familiar with the giant, flying, rocket-powered turtle from his older, kid friendly movies, but this series changed it up. In the 60s and 70s Toho’s Godzilla took a page from Daiei’s Gamera and became more family friendly. In the 90s Gamera took a page from Godzilla and became a ferocious, kick ass monster. He’s still generally a hero, though there is complexity added by showing the problems created when giant monsters are stomping around fighting, even if they’re doing it for “good” reasons. Furthermore the second film Advent of Legion actually contains some very good horror elements. Gamera finally gets his due as a seriously good monster and made some of the BEST (no joke) Daikaiju movies out there. It’s only a trilogy and well-worth the time.

This isn’t “friend of all children” Gamera. This is “mess with me and I’ll wreck your sh*t” Gamera.

 Gamera Heisei Trilogy:

Gamera: Guardian of the Universe

Gamera 2: Advent of Legion

Gamera 3: Awakening of Irys

 

3.)    Big Man Japan: This is a stand-alone comedy/mockumentary following the life of a Japanese man who inherited the ability to grow to giant size to fight giant monsters who invade Japan. Directed by Hitoshi Matsumoto, who plays the titular “big man” it is an often hilarious look at the life of a guy whose job this is, rather than the more fantastical tales normally told. We see his lousy apartment, his broken family, his inability to live up to his ancestors, and how difficult it is to be publicly mediocre. It is very funny and marred only by a surreal (but typically Japanese) ending featuring some good, old fashioned, Ultraman style fun. It takes some getting used to but is a serious blast if you don’t take things too seriously.

The Big Man. Make no mistake this is a weird ass movie but tons o’ fun for giant monster fans and there aren’t enough INTENTIONALLY funny giant monster movies.

 

4.)    Rebirth of Mothra Series: I have no shame in saying I LOVE Mothra. In fact I may like Mothra more than I like Godzilla. I’m not sure if it’s her feminine wiles, her fuzzy lil face, or her endearing squeak (maybe it’s the hot little faeries that accompany her everywhere) but I’ve always loved Mothra… She escaped the Godzilla machine with her own films in the 90s the “Rebirth” series, which featured both Mothra and a “new” Mothra often identified as a “male” version. I have to stress these are KIDS movies. VERY much so. They are kind of like Willow meets Godzilla and have all the elements that keep kids watching, including bright action, kid heroes, and a generally happy mood. These movies are great fun, again if you don’t take them seriously and can just turn your brain off and view them as a kid. Great starter films for a younger generation of monster fans and a great series for Mothra fans in general. The first two are available on a two set DVD. The third one has NEVER been released in the states! C’mon Toho. Help a fan out here!

 

If you can’t find love in a giant, fuzzy, environmentalist moth there is something wrong with you…

Rebirth of Mothra Trilogy:

Rebirth of Mothra

Rebirth of Mothra 2

Rebirth of Mothra 3

 

5.)    Godzilla Millennium Series: These are my personal favorite Godzilla films. In these Godzilla looks as just about as cool as he ever has, there is a TON of monster mashing, loads of new opponents or a very good use of the monsters from the Toho canon, and some of the best human plots ever in giant monster movies. Godzilla stays somewhat “bad guy” here, and the humans fight to defeat him using all the best tricks from previous series, mazer cannons, mecha-monsters, other monsters. It has all the great plot elements too, invading aliens, guardian monsters, etc. The first movie is a terrific intro to Godzilla for someone who’s never seen a Big G movie. The third movie in the series takes a very different approach but is one of the best out there. The final movie in the series may be my favorite Godzilla movie ever. In it Godzilla is indestructible, EVERY Toho monster ever (and even the 1998 US “Zilla”) shows up, and it is just straight crazy action from start to finish. All of the monster suits look great. These movies are filmed well and you actually LIKE and care for the human characters. Just a great series.

Millennium Godzilla might be my favorite Godzilla design of all time. It’s close between him and Heisei, but the serpentine head and ultra spikey dorsals just make him extra menacing.

 

Godzilla Millennium Series:

Godzilla 2000: Millennium

Godzilla vs. Megaguirus

Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack

Godzilla Against MechaGodzilla

Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S.

Godzilla: Final Wars

 

Those are my personal picks for giant monster fun. Of course there are MANY others but if you just saw 2014’s Godzilla and want a modern taste of great these movies can be sans CGI be check them out!

 

Bullet Point Review: Blood Lake – Attack of the Killer Lampreys

BulletPointReviews

What makes a good movie? It probably depends on who you ask, however often forgotten is the concept of entertainment. This is the main reason we watch movies after all. Being fun to watch is something even the so-called “best” movies can’t accomplish. Since I can be a slight movie snob myself it may be surprising that I’m bestowing the title of “good movie” to…

What it’s about

  • Plot: People living in an idyllic Michigan lakeside town are attacked by…Killer Lampreys, what else could happen?
  • Characters: Fish and wildlife expert, his wife and daughter, various friends and co-workers, disapproving mayor etc, etc… Most of them are recognizable, veteran character actors so the lead performances aren’t weak or distracting from the enjoyment of epic lamprey violence.
  • Vibe: Imagine the 1978 version of Piranha with 1975’s Jaws, including chattering swarms of evil fish and a mayor who doesn’t see the threat. One big selling point is that it’s shot in a bright manner so it gives a lighthearted feel to what could be a grim atmosphere.  It’s this well-done tone that makes the movie work so well.  It keeps it fun, rather than dreary like so many horror movies have gone for recently.

Why it’s fun

  • Played Straight: Despite the somewhat goofy plot synopsis all the actors actually play it totally straight and most do a pretty good job.
  • Lamprey Attacks: What’s not to like about lampreys hurling themselves out of lakes, pipes, ducts, walls, and floors like blood-seeking ballistic missiles.
  • Spectacle Kills: It’s very much like the great cult movies of the 80s like Critters or Ghoulies where half the fun is watching the little monsters creatively off victims. In this case they lamprey-out brains and lamprey-up toilets with expected results.  It is SO cable graphic if you aren’t guffawing with laughter during it you’re not watching it right!
  • Four Words: Anti.  Lamprey.  Weed.  Wacker.

Final Thoughts:

This is a made-for-cable movie.  It of course has a lower budget and the special effects aren’t up there with the latest J. J. Abrams movie. So why do I recommend it? For the same reason I’d recommend Friday 13th or Cherry Falls over A.I. or Memento: it’s silly fun; glorious in the best B-Movie kind of way.  Gory, frantic, everything you’d want in an entertainment.  Yes film students will ponder the epic nature of Citizen Kane or the layered meanings of everything Christopher Nolan heaves into theaters, but would I dare say either of these kinds of films is entertaining? If I have the choice of watching a pretentious drag or watching mindless death-by-lamprey I’ll choose death-by-lamprey any day. I may pick actual death-by-lamprey over watching any of the choices listed above… So Blood Lake may be bound for CULT classic status, which is where movies like this thrive. It is wildly entertaining, hilariously kill-y, great to watch with friends, and those involved were just having a good time and it shows. We at RevPub will be buying one copy each the second it’s available to buy so there are two sales right there!  Check it out!

Rating: 3.5 Lamprey Suck-Hole-Mouths out of 5 (though for just plain fun it would score a five!)

Lamprey

The official movie site!

For more fun watch LIVE LAMPREY CAM!