Bullet Point Review: Blood Lake – Attack of the Killer Lampreys


What makes a good movie? It probably depends on who you ask, however often forgotten is the concept of entertainment. This is the main reason we watch movies after all. Being fun to watch is something even the so-called “best” movies can’t accomplish. Since I can be a slight movie snob myself it may be surprising that I’m bestowing the title of “good movie” to…

What it’s about

  • Plot: People living in an idyllic Michigan lakeside town are attacked by…Killer Lampreys, what else could happen?
  • Characters: Fish and wildlife expert, his wife and daughter, various friends and co-workers, disapproving mayor etc, etc… Most of them are recognizable, veteran character actors so the lead performances aren’t weak or distracting from the enjoyment of epic lamprey violence.
  • Vibe: Imagine the 1978 version of Piranha with 1975’s Jaws, including chattering swarms of evil fish and a mayor who doesn’t see the threat. One big selling point is that it’s shot in a bright manner so it gives a lighthearted feel to what could be a grim atmosphere.  It’s this well-done tone that makes the movie work so well.  It keeps it fun, rather than dreary like so many horror movies have gone for recently.

Why it’s fun

  • Played Straight: Despite the somewhat goofy plot synopsis all the actors actually play it totally straight and most do a pretty good job.
  • Lamprey Attacks: What’s not to like about lampreys hurling themselves out of lakes, pipes, ducts, walls, and floors like blood-seeking ballistic missiles.
  • Spectacle Kills: It’s very much like the great cult movies of the 80s like Critters or Ghoulies where half the fun is watching the little monsters creatively off victims. In this case they lamprey-out brains and lamprey-up toilets with expected results.  It is SO cable graphic if you aren’t guffawing with laughter during it you’re not watching it right!
  • Four Words: Anti.  Lamprey.  Weed.  Wacker.

Final Thoughts:

This is a made-for-cable movie.  It of course has a lower budget and the special effects aren’t up there with the latest J. J. Abrams movie. So why do I recommend it? For the same reason I’d recommend Friday 13th or Cherry Falls over A.I. or Memento: it’s silly fun; glorious in the best B-Movie kind of way.  Gory, frantic, everything you’d want in an entertainment.  Yes film students will ponder the epic nature of Citizen Kane or the layered meanings of everything Christopher Nolan heaves into theaters, but would I dare say either of these kinds of films is entertaining? If I have the choice of watching a pretentious drag or watching mindless death-by-lamprey I’ll choose death-by-lamprey any day. I may pick actual death-by-lamprey over watching any of the choices listed above… So Blood Lake may be bound for CULT classic status, which is where movies like this thrive. It is wildly entertaining, hilariously kill-y, great to watch with friends, and those involved were just having a good time and it shows. We at RevPub will be buying one copy each the second it’s available to buy so there are two sales right there!  Check it out!

Rating: 3.5 Lamprey Suck-Hole-Mouths out of 5 (though for just plain fun it would score a five!)


The official movie site!

For more fun watch LIVE LAMPREY CAM!


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