How to Investigate Weird Noises: 7 Tips from a Horror Fan

Learning how to investigate weird noises could potentially save you from almost every horror movie scenario possible. Let’s face it, weird noises happen. And although it may not seem the best idea to investigate them, sometimes we must.

how to investigate weird noises
I’ve investigated dozens of weird noises over the years. I used to hear things from the basement and would have to go down there at night. Usually, it was just something outside or the dog, but I couldn’t rest until I knew everything was safe. I’ve made some mistakes, but I want to share my expertise on how to investigate weird noises:

Decide How to Investigate

Most times when you hear a weird noise at home, it’s nothing threatening. Why wake up loved ones for nothing or put them in danger? Go it alone at home. You can laugh at yourself and avoid embarrassment when it turns out to be a branch scratching a window. However, if you are in a horror movie setting – including hospitals, graveyards, and creepy cabins – never go alone. The more people you have around you, the better.

Grab a Weapon

Once you hear the noise and decide to investigate, pick a weapon. It should be easy to carry and use. One of my favorites is a working LED flashlight. These are typically made of metal, easily weigh 1 lb., and serve two purposes: You can see from a distance and bludgeon something if needed. You will find these at any major retailer for about $20. Also, make it easily accessible. For example, don’t store it in the basement.

Breathe Through Your Nose

If horror movies teach us anything, it’s what not to do. Take a moment and take deep breaths through your mouth. You’ll notice two things: you’re really loud and will eventually feel light-headed because you’re not getting enough oxygen. Breathing through your nose allows for maximum oxygen intake, so you don’t pass out and controls your adrenaline/heart rate. It is much quieter, so your ears can listen for noise. You need to find the source of the weird noise and listen for anything else.

Walk Slowly

This one comes naturally for most people. After all, you’re a little freaked out, so you’re not likely to go running through the house yelling AH-HA! Walk with intent, and keep your eyes open. If possible, wear quiet slip-on shoes in case you have to run. This rule changes if you have to go up and down stairs. I’m a fan of the element of surprise when it comes to stairs. For example, get downstairs fast and make noise. Most basement stairs squeak, so you’re going to make noise anyway. I vote for loud and threatening as opposed to quiet and squeaky.

Turn on Lights

When entering a room, turn the lights on first. Flip the switch, so you can see whatever is in there and feel quick relief. Leave the lights on when you leave the room. This will give you more visibility as you investigate and eliminate places for the source to hide. Pay attention to the lights as well. If one is turned off later, you’ll know something is wrong.

Do Not Talk

“Hello, is anyone there?,” said no one ever in real life. It’s common horror movie knowledge that the person who asks, gets slashed. Not talking aloud allows you to breathe easily, keeps your ears open, and doesn’t reveal your location. Having an internal dialogue is fine, but don’t talk to yourself aloud or yell for the source to reveal itself. You want to find it, not let it find you.

Run, Run, Run

So, you’ve finally made it into the basement only to find a zombie or ghost. Run. Run away fast. Don’t walk up on it. Don’t talk to it. I don’t care if you know them. Chances are if they are in a corner, they are bait. Run and never look back.

Stay safe out there, and feel free to share your comments below!

*The purpose of this post is for entertainment. If you think there is an intruder, use common sense and call for help.

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