The Three Truths of Cats

I’ve been a cat owner essentially all my life.  We got my lil sister Sweetie Pie when I was three.  Jack-Jack was an adoption of a 12 year old boy who needed respite from his busy house.  Tony and Gino were adoptees from the Katrina disaster.  Razputin, my current baby, was an adoptee who wouldn’t let me leave without him.  I’ve had a full menagerie in my life, but I always come back to cats as the lil furry companions I relate the most to.
Over the years I’ve found some things that cat owners will completely understand.  In the spirit of our Third Anniversary I thought I’d mention the top three things cat owners understand.

3.) They are the pauper kings/queens of the residence:

Every cat rules his or her house.  At least they believe they do.  Strangely however they are all entirely reliant on their chosen hairless housemate for food, water, and entertainment.  It’s unusual to have a tiny little fur-face essentially tell you what to do (and you do it…at least you’d better) when you are, at least logically, the boss round the place.  As royalty they can also be adorably mentally abusive.  They will innocently use noise (mreoow…mreeeeow…MREEEOW) to get you up at 2am.  Then look at you like, “what? Oh did that wake you?  Sorry, but as long as you’re up…look at this toy!  Or these treats!  And pet me here!”  They can destroy your whole world [40k players understand how a furry monstrous creature, eternal warrior, with hatred (all models), and 12D6 attacks can wreck your gaming s**t].  Then look at you with a sweet kitty face and make you love them for it.  If that’s not the behavior of an insecure monarch I don’t know what is…

2.) They see many things…maybe even dead people…
They will stare.  Stare at things.  There’s nothing there…but there’s SOMETHING there.  Sweetie (miss my lil sis) stared mostly at ME.  It’s unnerving to be eyed by a predator.  Even a little cute one.  Jack-Jack (he was connected to me and we gave him the best last years of his life we could) was nearly blind but his hood-eyed scowl often drew attention.  Tony only stares to smash things and even as a senior cat now he still has that young man athleticism.  Gino (miss my lil crazy booboo) would just stare…at dust or fuzzies or microscopic particles only visible with an electron microscope.  Raz stares up walls and at ceilings.  But often…there’s nothing there.  At least nothing I can see.  Occasionally I’ll spot a tiny bug or a spot on the wall that has his attention.  But sometimes nothing.  He’s intently staring at the air.  And cats do that.  Just stare, fascinated by the various nematodes and bogeymen only visible to cat-kind.  I know this.  I’m not worried about it…but every now and then I’m drawn into the fantasy.  I get up to check what he’s staring at.   I think he does it to laugh at me…

1.) You mean NOTHING….but you mean everything…

Cats are the world’s greatest actors.  They make you feel tiny, usually from self-important cattitude, but in the end one slow blink, one head butt, or one nose touch lets you know that, even though they make you feel utterly beneath contempt…they’re as glad to have you as you are to have them.  I know my various babies liked to pretend I mean nothing to them…but for all the kitty bravado they all loved to have me there…even when all they wanted was for me to be in the same space as them.   And for us, we’re happy to be in their space too.

Look for Life with Raz Cat coming soon on RevPub!  A webcomic series featuring stories from life with a Mad Russian Blue!

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It’s good to be the king…

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