Story of the Month: Crazy Car Crash Part 2


Last month I shared the ordeal of a car accident I experienced several years ago. This month i thought I’d wrap up with a bit of fallout AFTER a car crash…the little things people don’t expect after dealing with trauma and the relief of “I survived!” has passed.

As I lay on the couch for a few days recuperating, I received a call from my insurance company. Apparently my agents, with whom my family had been associated for something like 25-30 years, didn’t do any investigating. They handed it off to a specific investigator who…never left the office. How one can determine the causes of a physical event like a car accident without actually visiting the scene or viewing the wreckage I have no idea. Imagine Sherlock Holmes calling up Sir Baskerville and asking, “Sooo…it was a dog of some kind?” But that is essentially what happened. Remember that person who asked “what happened?” as I was being loaded into the ambulance? Evidently that was the investigating policeman on the scene. Remember my response of “someone hit me?” THAT was recorded as my statement! The woman who rear ended me apparently cried and gave a long statement that I swerved in front of her and hit her. Despite all my damage being on the driver’s side of the rear of my vehicle, which made that claim virtually impossible…

I did actually speak to my insurance “investigator” once who said, “well we do have a police statement saying you swerved in front of her, according to the report your comments were very sparse.” The fallout from this was such that everyone in my family who had the same insurance agent called asking for SOME kind ofa assistance, and only heard “it’s with investigations now.” So despite 30 some odd years of patronage, no help was given. It eventually resulted in everyone in my family, including my grandparents who I think had them as long as they had insurance in this state, switching to a different agent.

In the end, the investigator never visited the scene, never saw the car, and from what I can tell, never really submitted a report. I do know the accident was declared “no fault” and this has led us all to believe the other driver must have had the same company as me…meaning they would be paying out someone…UNLESS it was no fault in which everyone paid their own…which how I got my next car…

Insurance Companies in Practice

So what are the life lessons here? Well number one is: it’s a MYTH that the person who rear ends you is always at fault! Number two is balance, I was in a car accident and looked bad enough that the hospital staff thought I’d been on a motorcycle instead of a massive, safe car. You can get away with nearly being squished, but that amy be as far as your luck goes when you try to put things back together that AREN’T your bones! And number three, Insurance is essentially reverse gambling. You pay a LOT of money over the years all in the hopes that you never have to cash out. They aren’t they for your protection or for yous benefit, they’re mostly there because it is safer to have them just in case of a catastrophe that you may or may not cause, than to not have them at all. Even if their willingness to help when you really need them is slim to none…

In the end this wasn’t a sad or bad story. I got lots of nifty scars, a good “worst car crash” story, and I always have good “here’s why I hate insurance companies” argument whenever it comes up. I’ve been a cynic my whole life, but this taught me extra caution when dealing with companies like insurance or traffic cops. There ARE very good ones out there…then there are the ones who are just barely making an effort. If nothing else it has helped post-graduation me NEVER be the kind to just barely make an effort. Who knows whose on the other end of your work…waiting for an answer only you can provide and hoping you’ve done the best you can.

And in the end it always come down to Wheaton’s Law no matter who you are, what your job is, or what you’re doing:

Wheaton’s Law


Story of the Month: Crazy Car Crash Part 1


In 1989 my grandparents of all people got the coolest car I’d ever seen. I was 8, and they got a brand new Oldsmobile Cutless Supreme. An Olds the coolest car ever?   Oh yes. I remember the first time going for a ride in it; it was navy blue, was the quietest car I’d ever been in, and the dashboard panel looked like this:


I felt like I was in the Millennium Falcon.

For years they had this car as their “backup” vehicle, driving either my grandfather’s Olds Eighty-Eight or their Ford Bronco depending on what their second car was at the time.

In 2001 they started looking for a new car. I was driving a Geo Prism at the time, mostly using it to go back and forth from college to home on the weekends. Since my G-parents wanted a new one my mom talked them into giving the Cutless Supreme to ME. I paid the registration fee alone and received the coolest car ever, awesome digital dash, very low mileage, still a shiny dark blue. I looked forward to going back to college (about 50 miles from home) just for the short, casual commute.

One fall weekend I was on the way back home to go to a library book sale. It was a clear, bright day, sunny and unseasonably warm, when my Cutless Supreme made its last journey…

I was in the left lane, moved into the right near my exit. I glanced into my rear view mirror and saw a white Mustang (see THIS post about Mustang drivers) racing up behind me. I’ve always heard that in times of danger “time slows” I think it’s more accurate to say “the mind races.” It’s in these moments, where adrenaline flows and heart rates thunder that we see things in the same way a hummingbird does…racing metabolism seemingly slowing the world around us…

I knew from the pace and timing the Mustang couldn’t or wouldn’t stop. Not only did it NOT stop it didn’t even slow down. I was struck in the rear driver’s side and PIT maneuvered off the interstate at about 65 miles an hour. I’ve always been told I have an absurdly good memory and in this case have distinct memories of what went through my mind. I actually remembered my driving training before being hit (“no matter what go off to the right if there is a problem, that way you’re more likely to NOT hit another vehicle,” which explains why my rear driver’s side was hit); I remember a stand of small trees and thinking “Good, they’re small trees that will stop me from continuing in the unstoppable plunge off the road without crushing me utterly;” I then remember seeing them go to my left and vanish from view as I spun. Apparently what happened next was the rear of the car struck a steel lamp post in the exit and the spin was brought to a sudden halt. When I made the trip home weeks later I saw navy blue paint about 6 feet up the post demonstrating how far up the car crumpled before arresting its momentum.

The next thing I remember is trying to open the driver’s side door, which was stuck. I got angry slid over to the passenger door and kicked it free. I crawled out and to my surprise people had already gathered. When did they have the time to do all that? One woman implored me to sit down, but I was too busy looking for my phone so I could call home to tell them what happened. A guy in scrubs rushed over and told me he was a LifeFlight Nurse from Vandy Hospital and asked me to sit down. He held my neck to prevent any further trauma and I tried to call home. Our home number had recently been changed (it had been the same since 1987) and after I dialed and handed the phone to nurse he said “the number says it isn’t available.” I responded, “Dammit, they just changed it. I swear this isn’t brain damage.” I dialed the new number and when my mom answered I said, “Mom I just got into a car accident.” She said, “How bad is it?” Not thinking I responded, “Well the LifeFlight Nurse is here.” To which I heard a, “WHAT?!” and Immediately clarified, “no, no he was just passing by!” (People don’t do that to your mothers…)

They loaded me into an ambulance on a big, orange plastic board and someone asked “What happened?” I had no idea who, I was strapped down staring at the ceiling of an emergency medical vehicle and responded, “Well…someone hit me.”

I was taken to a major ER where I received between 230-300 stitches and Dr. Grimmet (I still remember her name) stayed for over two hours (much to the chagrin of the other ER staff who wanted her to assist elsewhere) to finish suturing my left arm which needed by far the most work. I also got sutures on my eyelid which I won’t lie FREAKED me the EFF out.

After about 6 hours getting sewn up in the ER I went home and slept on the couch for a few hours. I woke up a couple times, once to see our cat, Sweetie Pie, peeking over the couch at me in awe and wonder almost saying, “You smell like the guy who lives here but you don’t look like him…” I met her gaze for a moment before she fled the scene in horror!

I actually couldn’t make any calls so I sent my RevPub partner an email telling her what happened before passing out (I have never lived down the fact that I related the crisis via email…) She called and talked to my mom to check on me. My grandfather showed up the next morning and said, “What did you do to my car?!” and a good laugh was had by all.

My dad went to the local wrecking yard to take pics for insurance purposes and here’s what he came back with. To this day I can’t help but think only a few months before I was in a Geo Prism…I don’t think it would’ve fared as well…

Crash4 Crash2 Crash1 Crash3 Crash5 Crash8 Crash7 Crash6Preview

Next month, the epic battle between a rear-end collision victim and his own insurance company!

Off the Edge #3: Random Annoyances

Off the Edge

As anyone with the internet, a PC, a car, or a television…I get a little tired of things sometimes.  Not just typical annoying things, but other things that might seem harmless, or even wildly popular, but for some reason I just get incredibly weary of some aspects about the culture and just life in general.  Just for fun (bring it on internet) I thought I’d do a list of the things that have been especially annoying recently in no particular order:

  • People: They’re rude, selfish, and needlessly hateful.  In fact it’s such a surprise when someone is civil you aren’t quite sure how to take it.  When you get the note from the guy who scratched your car or a “thanks for the tip” on a youtube comment it’s stunning.
  • Reality TV: I used to wonder when this trend would end.  I don’t think it will.  There are way too many shows with washed-up celebrities and/or “regular people” competing or behaving stupidly on TV.  I only turn my television on for 2-3 shows.  If I see one more person crying on TV I may just wait til things show up online and give up cable altogether…
  • Dropping Things: How do they vanish into oblivion?  I dropped it straight down.  I can understand it might bounce an inch or two but how did it get 12 feet away underneath the aquarium?
  • Parking: How on earth do people NOT hit the lines?  Ok we all can leave a poor attempt at parking on occasion but I’ve noticed a LOT of people park consistently badly and leave it.  When you use the same parking lot every day you can see the same white truck or the same blue car crooked over the lines.  If they have that much trouble with painted lines while stationary I live in fear of how they deal with them while moving.
  • Hipsters: What pop-culture crypt spawned these foul creatures?  They’re this generation’s beatniks; only instead of being annoying poets they mostly just criticize annoying poets.  For not being annoying enough.  That’s a double whammy.
  • Geek Culture: NOT geeks.  I have no issue with dorks since I’m a huge dork myself, but it’s more the marketing toward geek culture that drives me insane and how people wear geek culture like a jacket now.  It used to be geek culture was driven by the geeks.  Now people become geeks the way they become raver-kids or goths, they wear the clothes, watch the TV shows, and learn some lingo.  It’s just what is popular right now.
  • Movies in CGI: Yeah that’s what it is now.  No more CGI in movies.  It’s more movies that are CGI.  They’re all CGI.  People don’t build sets anymore just green screens.  No one builds props anymore, they’re just rendered.  I’d rather see something in front of the camera than see an undulating cartoon character or more pixelated fire.  I don’t think I could take seeing another computer-generated army running at another computer-generated army.
  • Model Glue: Why does it stick my fingers together better than the model parts?
  • Fanboyism: Sometimes people just can’t see the problems with their own beloved obsessions.  Nothing is ALL good and what is good, better, and best is all a matter of personal opinion.  So what’s with all the flame wars?
  • Apple: I know there are scores of Mac lovers but honestly I find Apple’s practices as insidious as anyone’s…probably more-so.  The big problem is some publishers ONLY publish their digital material in the iTunes store…to get it you have to have iJunk.  So to get a 15 dollar book I need a 300 dollar device…
  • Traffic: I’ve noticed nearly all traffic problems are caused by selfish and/or over-reactive people.  One jackass stops or pulls out in front of everyone and that spot will sometimes create a chain-reaction back-up for hours.
  • Haters: People who only find the negative in things.  “It’s a great ::blank:: but it has this stupid thing.” Or “It would’ve been perfect but ::whatever:: ruined it.”  And yes, I see the irony in having haters on a list about things that annoy me!

 That’s all I can think of now.  Again, this is just me.  We’re all allowed our opinions so feel free to disagree!

And as usual, it’s all just good fun 🙂