If You Want to Write: Childhood Memories

“A child experiences things from his true self (creatively) and not from his theoretical self (dutifully), i.e.: the self he thinks he ought to be.” – Brenda Ueland

A child’s imagination is a powerful thing. It’s raw, undisciplined, and fierce. There’s an innocence within a child’s mind that doesn’t hold back or worry about how they should be thinking. My son, who has created countless video games, board and card games, and short stories all before he was 10 years old, simply amazes me. Now that he’s a teenager, he uses software to bring them to life. And because of his drive and creativity, I believe he will become a great game designer.

In this chapter, Ueland urges us to write like a child. She recommends we write about a childhood memory and remember how it felt to be there. Ueland explains that an older person writes from not only their imagination but from their ego and conscious as well. Adults are afraid to write honest details because we’re afraid someone will judge us, or we don’t want to look bad. The exercise is to write about a childhood memory, and although I don’t have full stories with lots of details, one thing tops the list.

Waffles

When my parents separated, my brother and I spent most weekends at our grandparent’s house. On Saturdays, grandma would clean the house and play or make crafts with us. My grandpa usually remodeled something or worked in the yard.

My grandparents. He passed in 2011, but they are still be most amazing couple ever.
My grandparents. He passed in 2011, but they are still the best couple ever.

As great as Saturdays were, Sundays were the best. They had the same routine, but Sundays started in a very special way. My grandparents let me sleep in, sometimes until 10 o’clock, and when I awoke I knew I had a delicious treat awaiting me.

Almost every Sunday my grandparents would make me a waffle for breakfast. There was nothing special about the smell, but it tasted amazing. They would butter the round waffle, which took up the entire plate, and each little square was filled with syrup. They added a sliced peach for each quarter and sprinkled confectioner’s sugar all over it. It was so sweet and so comforting. And I was so hungry.

I still eat my waffles exactly that way. I have never tried any other fruit and get upset if we’re out of confectioner’s sugar. I will not touch a pancake. I realized this year, I had never made my son pancakes. I found myself almost banning pancakes because of my ties to waffles. Strange as it may be, I’ll probably never eat a pancake, but I do cook them now. Our memories can shape us into someone unexpected and cause us to do crazy things.

Another lesson Ueland addresses is that we shape our children. If you want them to be great, you must be great. If you want them to be a musician, you must practice music. If you want them to believe in themselves, we must believe in ourselves. We set the example.

Now, it’s your turn. Think back and try to write about a childhood memory from a child’s perspective, not an adult’s. Try to remember what you were going through or feeling – it may be therapeutic to your soul.

For fun, here’s a recipe for waffles. Maybe you can add your own fruit or make them special for your family!

Off the Top of My Head #13: Playgrounds for Grown Ups!

Off The Top of My Head

Our generation (everyone who’s around 30 something now) has received a lot of criticism from our parents’ generation as being “immature.”  Almost as if, though we’re in our late 20s and early-to-mid 30s, we are arrested adolescents who don’t want to “grow up” in the same way their generation did.

Honestly I remember, as a kid, everyone I knew who was “30” seemed very grown-up, very adult, very boring, and OLD.

Well I’m over 30 now.  I do feel a bit old as I have, honestly said “kids these days” recently, and my body doesn’t like the idea of some things as much as it used to (I have thought, “Oh lord my knees won’t be doing THAT” recently as well).  However I have to point out, I see nothing wrong with being a member of the Toy-R-Us generation.  I’m a Toy-R-Us kid.  I don’t wanna grow up.

I have a grown-up job and grown-up responsibilities, but the day I stop finding the joy in playing with toys, board games, and old-school video games is the day a part of me dies.  If older generations heap criticism on us for enjoying reading Wolverine instead of The Washington Post I say it’s their loss.

Which brings us to the topic of the day.  Recently, on a whim, my lovely RevPub counterpart and I were walking around a park at night.  It was a park I visited as a kid, and I was reminiscing on the dodgy playground that used to be on the grounds.  Near the end of the trek, I spotted landmarks I remembered; a bell, a café (that was just a bathroom at the time), and a picnic area.  I then discovered the old playground was long gone, replaced with a NEW one.  A new one that had features big enough for adults.  We spent the next 45 minutes or so running around on the playground structures, sliding down the big tube-slide, traversing the awesome twisty slide, and the monkey bars.  Afterward we ran over to the swings and swung for another few minutes (I’m so lame I got a bit nauseous and it was at this point I thought “I used to jump off while swinging!  Oy my knees wouldn’t take that now…”)

After the run around on the playground we both agreed, there NEEDS to be playgrounds for adults.  Playgrounds where NO kids are allowed (so you don’t have to worry about knocking over tiny people while running like crazy or watching your language), rides big and high enough for adults, and open all hours.

Look at that! Fun for all ages!

Imagine a busy day at work, but taking a break on lunch to have a go on an adult-sized merry-go-round or teeter totter.  We loved them as kids, had great fun, got all our frustrations out, and got exercise.  Part of adult frustration is no exercise. The secret to exercising is finding an activity that’s FUN.  If it’s not fun, you won’t keep doing it.  I haven’t had as much fun exercising as I did playing on the playground and could see doing that every day if I could!

It would provide adults with a healthy activity, relieve stress, and help us forget the troubles a bit.  You can’t be angry on a swing set!

So come on playground/park industry.  Let’s make this happen.  I think everyone I know who is my age would spend time on an adult playground, and we can’t be the only ones.

And fellow adults, let’s let go a bit and enjoy a go on the slide.  We loved them then, and I think a part of us will ALWAYS love them.  Never forget the responsibilities of being an adult, but also never forget the pure, carefree, joy of being a kid.  I think finding a medium between the two is the secret to being truly happy.

The Best Things About Mean Girls

You know them, or you have been one. Maybe you still are. It doesn’t matter though because at some point, most women have been a mean girl.

Photo from : meangirls-confessions.tumblr.com
Photo from : meangirls-confessions.tumblr.com

As I’ve admitted, I have a weakness for good teen movies. And I LOVE this movie. I have seen it so many times I can quote it, and even though she’s somewhat crazy now, I still have a soft spot for old-school Lindsay Lohan.

Mean Girls (2004) is dead-on when it shows how girls – and oftentimes women – treat each other. That is the primary reason I hang out with guys. I never have to worry about guys gossiping behind my back or trying to secretly sabotage me while acting like my best friend. I have been a mean girl though, so I don’t blame anyone for not liking me either.

The movie truly tells the story of a group of high school friends who are obsessed with body image, their social and sexual lives, and terrorizing each other to look good and gain popularity. Mean Girls confronts trends, cliques, and all the horrible things teen girls do to each other, and why it shouldn’t be that way.

Aside from the movie’s obvious themes of forgiveness, girl power, support, and unity, I take a lot of other things (some silly) from the movie:

  • I know, right? Thank you, Rachel McAdams (Regina George). I didn’t realize I picked up this phrase from the movie, but I know I did. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing though.
  • Plastics. I’m not sure if the term derived from the movie, but it’s a great word for the high-fashion, fully made-up types. E.g.: The ones who look like Barbie dolls.
  • Amanda Seyfried. According to IMDB, this was her first movie. I want to personally thank the casting director for picking Seyfried to play the stereotypical really dumb blonde. Who knew she’d turn into the young star she is now?
  • School faculty. This movie reminds us that teachers and principals have real lives and problems. The ones in this movie seem to say what you know every faculty member wants to. Two of my favorite quotes, “I cannot tell you how happy I am this year is over,” and “Oh, hell no. I did not leave the South side for this!” Tim Meadows (Mr. Duvall) says.
  • Girl-on-girl crime is self-destructive. Not only does Mean Girls teach you that you can ruin your best friend’s life, it proves you can ruin your own. You will be exposed, and people will hate you.
  • People you torture will have the last laugh. Lizzy Caplan (Janis Ian) delivers a fantastic speech in the end where she simply confesses trying to destroy McAdams’ life. She falls into the crowd as they chant her name. Be careful who you’re mean to; they often find a way to retaliate.

Do you have a mean-girl related story? Feel free to share below!

90s Shooters: The Joy of the Wolfenstein – Doom Era

Though I was a video gamer from a young age, playing Atari and NES, I didn’t get into PC gaming until I was in middle school.

My first home PC was a simple IBM with no hard drive.  I played games directly off a 3.5” diskette and could only play shareware versions of Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? and use Print Shop Pro to print on the DOT Matrix Printer.  As time went on it became difficult to find games I could play that only had one disk…luckily we eventually upgraded our PC to one with a moderate hard drive (I think around 120 mb or so) and a whole new world of gaming opened up.

This was when I was introduced to shareware versions of Wolfenstein 3D, Blake Stone, and eventually Doom.

These represent the first person shooters I ever played, and some of the earliest entries into the genre.  My friend Mike provided me with Wolfenstein and eventually Blake Stone.  We played both shooting games on the 8th grade newspaper computer instead of actually working on the school newspaper (I don’t know if we even had one) until we got caught.

Wolfenstein Title Screen

Wolfenstein 3D was fascinating, killing all those Nazis in castle hallways.  Hearing their low-fi German shouts (“Halt!”  “Guten Tag! Mein Leben!” “Schutstaffel!”) and eventually working up to fight some strange version of Adolf Hitler in terminator armor.

“Halt!”

Blake Stone is almost forgotten now, but it was a sci-fi game of the same making.  I remember the blue-green gun and the mad scientist and green alien bad guys.  Blake Stone was another one Mike and I played in English class (right behind the teacher if I recall…) and, though I never played it at home, it really got me into the corridor shooter game.

BlakeStone

When Doom came out it changed the dynamic for me.  Released from the corridors, you now moved through expansive locales and multiple-story levels.  I played it on shareware, only the first few levels and I played them over and over.  It’s the first “god mode” I ever used (IDDQD!) and even more often I’d use IDKFA for all weapons.

I played Doom relentlessly.  I was one of the few individuals who bought a Sega 32X and even though it didn’t have a lot of games I truly enjoyed the ones it had.  I listened to Use Your Illusion I & II and played Doom for months on my 32X as a middle schooler.

Once my PC could handle it I finally got a copy of Ultimate Doom and Doom II at the local Media Play and swapped the dozens of disks to install them.  It was this era when you could play a game for months…even years.  Turn on some midi music and play Doom for hours just as a time waster.  I can’t even remember how many homework assignments I blew off to kill the Cyberdemon yet again…

I’m pretty sure the Imp sound effects are actually camel sounds. Weird to think about it now….

I actually remember it being a controversy at the time: did Doom make kids violent?  It was ludicrous to me.  Doom was as realistic as a cartoon (though a tad gorier than most I’ll admit) and it would follow that kids would only learn how to kill cacodemons with a keyboard while wielding a pixelated plasma rifle…  How that equates to loading a pistol I’ll never understand.  I’d say unless you’re a spiked imp throwing fireballs on screen and I’m a crew cut face wielding a video-chain gun society should be safe.

Doom really stands as the last first person shooter I really loved.  Others came along (Duke Nukem 3D shortly after the Doom era…Kingpin when I was in college) but none really captured that WolfensteinDoom feeling for me.  Now it’s one of my least favorite genres, burdened with a heavy emphasis on multiplayer (I’ve said it a million times…I deal with idiots all day in my real life…I don’t need to deal with anonymous idiots during my leisure time…) and less on long campaigns I could put on some music and kick back to they haven’t appealed to me.

So here’s to the 90s first person shooter.  Turn on the game, turn off your brain, and enjoy some mindless (but entirely harmless) violence!

Story of the Month Wasps and Irrational Anger

StoryoftheMonth

As I mentioned last month, the weather is getting warmer, which means all the critters of spring are beginning to arrive.

With a relatively mild winter in my area again it means we have more than usual (the same was true last year…and these critters included MICE but maybe that’s next month’s story…) and they start arriving earlier.  Though spiders tend to freak people out more, nothing causes fear and panic through a school playground, office parking lot, or park picnic spot more than wasps buzzing through.

It could be because they seem to come right at you.  It could be because, with their natural red and black costuming (or yellow and black depending on the species and area), they seem to be DRESSED like villains from an 80s action movie.  But they seem to radiate aggression.

Anatomy of a Wasp

I’d managed to live 30-some-odd years on this planet without ever feeling the wrath of their terrible sting…until last month.  Stepping barefoot into my closet to read the back of MUSTARD (of all things….) from my mini-fridge I felt a sharp pain.  Like I’d trod on glass.  Glass sculpted into the shape of a fanged thorn.  Glass sculpted into the shape of a fanged thorn and dipped in molten lead.  And venom.  And HATE.

I immediately jumped back and saw I’d stepped on a wasp who stung the $#!* out of me.  As the pain sunk in I vented it by brutally crushing the life out of it with all the antagonism I could muster.  I spent the morning hopping on one foot, and the rest of the day refilling bags of ice and resting my foot on them to keep the pain down.

My friend Mike says being stung builds character.  Bollocks to that!

After the initial wash of rage had subsided it dawned on me…that wasp stung the crap out of me…but only because I’d stepped on it.  I’ve lived with venomous spiders, aggressive frogs, feisty turtles, and attitude-y cats, but only this little critter managed to really inflict serious pain.  But essentially, I started that fight.  Though I ended it with extreme prejudice as well, it did make me realize that reaction is essentially the same anger I get when the gate to my station wagon closed while I was getting my guitar in high school and smashed me in the head (seriously happened) or when I stood up underneath my pull-up bar and it crashed into my neck (that also happened).  The immediate reaction is irrational rage at the inanimate object…just for existing…  (I punched the metal pull-up bar.  Yeah that was smart…) I became one of those idiots I hate who hear a bear has killed imbecile that was trying to get a picture hugging said bear and immediate go out to kill all bears.

In retrospect, I got stung, it hurt like a *&%^!#$^&#@ but I can’t blame the evil little monster who assaulted me as it was reacting to my actions.  Who knows how many times I’d stab some big oaf that tried to step on me.

I’ll keep that in mind the next time a vicious, little, fire-red demon attempts to do me in via near-microscopic venom shard…

That's the one that got me...
That’s the one that got me…

See more stories in our Story of the Month section!

Lay vs. Lie: Which One Should You Use?

GrammarTips

Grammar rules are sometimes difficult to remember. I try little tips to remember how to correctly use a word, and in the case of lay vs. lie, I sing U2’s Love and Peace.

Lay down/Lay down/Lay your sweet lovely on the ground/Lay your love on the track…

The song triggers the correct usage of lay, and the rest comes naturally to me. I admit, even though it is listed correctly below, I have never used the word ‘lain’. I imagine I would get some strange looks if I said, “I have lain down every afternoon this week.” If you are speaking and use laid, I doubt anyone would correct you, but make sure you use the correct word while writing. No matter how awkward it seems 😉

Note: The usage of these lay vs. lie depends on the tense in which you are speaking.

Common terms used in this post:

Verb: an action (what something is doing)

Object: the thing (object) that is doing the action or affected by the action (verb)

Tense: when something is happening

a. present – it is happening at this moment

b. past – it happened before this moment

Participle: a word that acts as an adjective and verb (a form of have in this instance)

Rule 1: To recline (think of a person)

Present: lie, lying

Past: lay

Participle: has/have/had lain

Examples:

I lie down every day at 5 o’clock for a power nap.

She was lying on the ground when I found her.

Rule 2: To put or place something (think of verb+object)

Present: lay, laying

Past: laid

Participle: has/have/had laid

Examples:

The birds lay eggs.

The child laid the book on the table.

Rule 3: To say something that is not true (notice the spelling differences)

Present: lie, lying

Past: lied

Participle: has/have/have lied

Examples:

Sometimes it’s hard not to tell a lie.

I lied to her.

If you’d like to quiz yourself, try the lay vs. lie quiz. And feel free to share your tips in the comments below!

Sources: The Bluebook of Grammar, Webster’s, my brain