Best Horror Sequel: Aliens

On By James CastroIn Movies, ReviewsLeave a comment

The film industry is built on sequels. In fact nearly the entire entertainment industry is built on sequels, reboots, and remakes. Of course the general perception is sequels, especially horror movie sequels, are worse than the original films and are usually just a cash-in to milk a franchise’s fans for more money. While I can see a point to this some sequels rise above that label and either build upon the first film’s successes or even improve it. When thinking of the best horror sequel one film always stands out to me…Aliens.

Yes it IS Horror: Before everyone goes on a rant that Jim Cameron’s follow-up to Alien isn’t a horror movie I provide personal evidence. I saw Alien and Aliens on the same night at about the age of 12. Alien I found interesting but slow and suspenseful. The creature looked great in quick, shadowy flashes and the scenes built suspense rather than fear. I was never afraid of the xenomorph, but I was afraid for the characters. That means it was a great movie, since I felt for the characters, but it didn’t scare me. Aliens however did scare me. One scene in particular had me checking under the bed and in the bathroom cabinets. The intense facehugger stalking scene where two of the little beasties are set loose on Ripley (of course played to perfection by Sigourney Weaver) and Newt (whose character’s dialogue still works its way into my every day speech). The tense nature of that scene, the fear and unknown presented by the monster and its location was relatable. Who has ever tried to smash a spider and missed? Then had the critter scurry out of site and stayed up all night watching for it to re-appear? That’s how I felt watching that scene. That’s why I checked all the nooks and crannies before bed that night. And in that one scene alone it proves its horror cred.

New Kinds of Victims: But it also transcends it. In most horror movies the protagonists are unwitting and helpless. Maybe they have a trick up their sleeves like in You’re Next that no one expected, but for the most part they are over their heads and faced with horrors they never anticipated and have to scramble to survive being picked off one by one. That’s not the case here. The protagonists are Colonial Marines, described in one scene as “tough hombres” and de-briefed by Ripley, who faced the alien creature before. They aren’t helpless, they are well-trained, tough, violent, and in the opening scenes of their landing show their precision and meddle. When the creatures turn up they’re simply lost at sea. It works even better than it did against the helpless crew of the Nostromo as we know these marines have handled problems like this before and are still terrified and overwhelmed by the xenomorphs. It works psychologically because you think if these people can’t stop xenomorphs what can? You identify with Ripley and Newt (and to some extent the colonists), regular non-marines who seemingly have no hope to survive. The aliens are wily, powerful, fearless, and the “Warrior” design is far more menacing than that of the original alien. The tone is sci-fi, action, and horror all rolled into one. The first film I can recall containing all those elements, and it’s this movie, rather than its predecessor, that spawned an entire new genre of horror-action-sci fi.

Lasting Impact: Finally it has serious, SERIOUS longevity in the culture. It is one of the most stolen concepts in modern media (Contra, Tyranids, Dead Space…etc…). Not only that but it battles with Scarface as one of the most quotable movies I’ve ever seen. “Game over man,” “Sweethearts,” “five-by-five,” all these quotes spawned from Aliens and even if they didn’t originate with the film you quote them from the film. If you don’t say “Game over, man; Game over” like Hudson you’re doing it wrong.

While trying to think of the “best horror sequel” I was torn. It came down between Aliens and Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. Dream Warriors certainly changed the landscape of the Nightmare movies, but Aliens changed the nature of sci-fi horror. It was tense, scary, bloody, action-packed, and even had a final girl. It surpassed the original to become a movie classic and infiltrated modern culture to create new genres and new kinds of horror experiences.

So to me Aliens is by far is the best horror sequel.  Take it away Hudson:

 

Best Kids’ Horror Movie: Monster Squad

On By James CastroIn Movies, ReviewsLeave a comment

The term “kids’ movie” has been colored as of late by the likes of Pixar and Dreamworks.  They make many fine “family” films with lots of layers and advanced story telling, but in many ways these, often CGI films have neutered the kids movie genre.  Certainly there were animated movies in years past, but in the 80s these were mixed in with movies marketed toward kids that weren’t toothless at all.  Films like Gremlins and The Gate are movies about young teens or kids who go through a horrific experience, lots of action, gruesome scenes, but all aimed at a younger audience.

Best in the genre of horror movies for kids, for me, is Monster Squad.  Hot on the heels of Ghostbusters this movie I feel modernized the Scooby Gang concept and gave birth to the Buffy the Vampire Slayers and Supernaturals to come later.  Young, independent protagonists, fighting supernatural beings older authority figures can’t even fathom, let alone face.  For those taking notes, here’s what made it such a great kids’ horror movie:

The Classics Return: After a generation of “new” slasher killers and gorehounds, some great some not-so-great, Monster Squad brings back the monsters that made the genre popular.  Not just one or two but ALL of the great so-called “Universal” horror monsters, Dracula (yep with cape and tux), the Wolfman (pretty good animatronics), the Gillman (even BETTER animatronics), the Mummy, and the Frankenstein monster.  All with their classic looks, all doing their classic things.  Dracula creates his brides, leads the group, is the most together and menacing.  Wolfman howls at the moon, Gillman glugs around being creepy while the Mummy lurches and staggers in bandages.  The Frankenstein monster, true to his roots, remains both monstrous and sympathetic.  The film even re-creates famous scenes in a new way, such as the famous Monster and girl by the lake sequence.  It taught an entire generation of kids of the horror that came before.  Well those who weren’t obsessed with the Crestwood series anyway.  Even Van Helsing plays a key role.  I didn’t even know who this vital character was when I saw this movie!

Kids Being Kids: Popular YouTube personality and “garme jurnalizt” Jim Sterling describes kids as basically “shitty adults.”  That’s as apt a description as I can think of.  REAL kids, neither the defanged yet endearing kids from modern movies like Paranorman and Frankenweenie, nor the extreme kids from the kidsploitation movies that show rampant juvenile crime and drug abuse, but the kids I knew and grew up with.  They were smart asses, foul mouthed (especially when adults weren’t around), ignorant, and cruel to both friends and foes.  Yet through all that we were still kids.  We still played with toys, fantasized about goofy things, and could find joy in candy and cartoons.  That is what great about the kids in Monster Squad I don’t think I’ve seen a more real version of kids on film in ages.  Through all their idiot kid behavior and attitudes, they are still endearing and heroic.  Not in forced ways or fake ways, but in ways kids can be.  They fight monsters on their terms.  It’s a great mixture of Son of Frankenstein and The Goonies.

Layers of Story: Subtle layers exist in this film beyond the monster hunting and horror fun.  You hear parents arguing from the context and perspective of a kid who only knows whats going on from the yelling through the walls.  You see bullied kids and tough kids.  Most telling is Scary German Guy who says he knows true monsters.  A tattoo on his arm tells us all we need to know without a flashback or narrative.  Even the monsters are given background, Dracula calls the Monster an old friend.  The Monster calls him master.  There is story there we don’t know and are never privy to.  It just lends itself to the depth.

It’s hard to put your finger on what makes this movie so classic.  It is undeniably cheesy and a product of its time.  It’s very 80s with kids in leather jackets (smelting silver in that jacket no less) being tough and cool and dated music montages but the story is epic and its horror roots firm and grounded.  Yes there is a monster in the closet.  Yes Wolfman has nards.  And so does this movie.

 

Best Teen Slasher: Cherry Falls

On By R. PettyIn MoviesLeave a comment
Brittany Murphy Cherry Falls
Photo from: scare-tactic.blogspot.com

Teen slasher movies rank my favorite of the slasher genre. As a big teen and horror movie fan, this subgenre blends the best of both worlds. They combine youth and livelihood with gore and chaos – a perfect fun mix without getting too heavy. However, for a good teen slasher, you need two things: teens who can act like teens and a believable serial killer.

Cherry Falls is a hidden gem and my favorite teen slasher. I first saw this movie on cable TV and fell in love. Here’s why:

Premise/story – Traditional slasher movies follow a specific formula. They have a serial killer, final girl, and teenagers who drink, do drugs, and/or have sex, who will die in the first 30 minutes. Guaranteed. Cherry Falls‘ premise has a serial killer who kills virgins only, which forces the teenagers to do the one thing they’re not supposed to do: have sex. It’s ingenious because what kills them in traditional slashers is the only thing that saves them in Cherry Falls. The premise turns the traditional roles upside down and is unique to the genre.

Brittany Murphy – I just love her. She was so full of life and character, and is a great twisted, goth mess as the star. She’s a good girl with an edge and doesn’t let the people push her around. She’s cute and flirty, but very smart and acts like a teenage girl did in 2000. She’s not afraid to say no, returns what she’s dealt, and knows how to take care of herself. She was a strong final girl – and pretty hot too.

Time period – The movie released in 2000, right before teen movies became not as good. The 80s teen slashers are classics (eg. Friday the 13th), the 90s were almost as good (eg. Scream), but the 2000s teen slashers suffered the disease of the new millennium – they followed two great decades of pop culture and tried to be politically correct. Most teen slashers in the 2000s were either sequels, spoofs, or just bad. Cherry Falls was one of the last great teen slashers.

The killer – SPOILER alert. The teacher (Jay Mohr) is the killer. As an audience, you suspect him, but you’re not sure why. The first time I watched it, I didn’t expect him until much later in the movie when it was obvious. It’s not in your face, and the build up is well done. Also, it’s not your typical motive. The movie mixes messed-up abused kid with Psycho-style mommy issues. He’s also not the greatest killer; he gets beat up a lot and has to fight to try to kill the final girl. The killer acts like a real person and portrays what a teacher would act like if he were killing his students.

Between the lines – There’s a lot of questionable subject matter in the movie. Foot fetishes, an awkward father/daughter relationship, a questionable mother/daughter’s boyfriend dynamic, cross-dressing, etc. At first you don’t pay attention to it, but on second or third watch it all comes out. Pay attention to the underlying glances and interactions, and you’ll see this is a pretty effed up small town. Everyone has issues, no one is perfect or trying to be something they’re not. All characters and actors feel very real, which adds something special.

So, why with all the teen slashers out there, is this my favorite? It just is. It’s clever, fun, somewhat cliched, but it puts a spin on a classic genre that I hope one day will come back. They just don’t make them like they used to. If you haven’t seen it, check it out!

Story of the Month: Shadows of The Ring

On By James CastroIn Story of the MonthLeave a comment

StoryoftheMonthOne of the traits I’m best known for as an adult is my inability to get scared by horror genre media.  TV shows, movies, haunted houses (even the “real” kind) don’t really scare me.  It’s probably because I was scared of everything ever from 5-10 years old and got it all out of my system.  This is a case of, while not being scared really, showing the effects something SCARY can have on even someone like me…

Horror movies of late have been less scary than ever.  The torture genre is just uncomfortable to watch, not scary or even fun.  Most of the other genres have just been done to death.  During the early 2000s the US was invaded by Asian horror, and it was a kind of horror I had never seen.  My introduction to this kind of film was 2002’s The Ring.

I saw this on my College’s free movie channel my senior year.  This channel showed second-run theater films at 7 PM and often again at 9 or 10.  I saw a lot of movies that way and when the showed The Ring at one of the “late shows.”  I won’t go into the movie.  Great tension, creepy imagery, and one of the best horror film finales in recent memory.  It made an impact and the crazy video tape and thrilling climax really stuck with me.  I enjoyed the film, but wasn’t creeped out or scared really, and went to bed right after it went off.

At the time I lived in a sparse single-dorm room.  Just a computer, desk, fridge, TV dresser, and bed with four posts.

I woke up sometime after three and caught sight of a shadowy figure at the end of my bed.  I froze for a split second pondering options…no don’t hide under the covers…no don’t scream for help…or say “is someone there.”  There was a shadow…a small, child-sized shadow…like a little girl with hair over her face…like Samara from The Ring standing at the right corner of the foot of my bed.

The split second passed and I made my decision.  I gave the creepy shadow a sharp, fast KICK with my right foot smacking the lil creepy thing right in her dark face.   Then felt the stinging pain in my foot as though I’d kicked a 2×2 post of pine…mostly because there was no creepy girl ghost at the foot of my bed…it was my hoodie draped over the right corner post of my bed.  So I actually HAD kicked a 2×2 piece of pine with all my might and really damaged my foot.  Seriously it still gets sore 12 years later.

So it goes to show you, no you might not feel scared from a movie, no you might think a horror movie is simple fun and didn’t effect you at all…but when you least expect it shadows enter your imagination and you might be more effected than you think!

Shadowy monster or Halloween decor shadow? You decide!
Shadowy monster or Halloween decor shadow? You decide!

Worst Horror Movie: Dark Corners

On By R. PettyIn Movies4 Comments

Dark Corners is one of the most confusing movies ever. The only way I could write this was to start from the beginning and work my way to the end. If this post doesn’t make sense, have no fear because it’s a byproduct of the movie. I haven’t lost my mind. Dark Corners will leave your brain clogged and lost. And you may well ask yourself at the end, Why did I watch that? What was the point? Wtf just happened?

For these reasons, this is my worst and most hated horror movie. Here’s the breakdown (contains spoilers):

The opening: The movie starts with an old woman in a rocking chair listening to her answering machine. Next scene is a chick in a church who’s ranting to a friend she can’t find. She sits down to smoke a cigarette and falls asleep sitting against the altar. Because she’s narcoleptic? She wakes up to find her friend slaughtered on the altar, and then she is killed.

Reality 1: The movie is split into to two different realities. You have real world and dream world. In real world, there’s a killer on the loose and blonde Thora Birch, who has nightmares, thus creating dream world. In real world, she’s trying to get pregnant, which serves no purpose other than to have a conflict in the “happy” marriage. She also visits a hypnotist to help her work through the nightmares.

Reality 2: Dark-haired Thora Birch is a train wreck. Most of the same actors are in both worlds playing different characters. Here, Birch is being stalked by what you discover is the serial killer. Oh wait, you can’t have the same killer in both worlds, right? Unless it’s Freddy, this is unacceptable. It is never explained how both cross over or why.

Randomness: There is so much random crap in Dark Corners. The two opening scenes come back into play but serve no purpose. There are things like a creepy kid standing on a car making throat-cutting motions and who later attacks dream-world Birch, but you don’t know why. There’s incessant phone ringing and alarm clocks that I found distracting, and a key Birch swallows in dream world. And without rewatching, I can’t tell you what the key unlocks. A creepy old woman in the doctor’s office tells blonde Birch not to sit in a chair in a corner, but again, you have no idea why. And the list goes on…

The End: Confused yet? Here comes the kicker. The serial killer stabs and mangles Birch in real world. Dream-world Birch ends up standing over real-world Birch as the husband walks in. It can’t be split personalities because he sees dark-haired Birch and real-world Birch slaughtered in her bed. So who’s the killer? The doctor. Yep, the doctor is dark-haired Birch in dream world.

Finally, it’s all over. The movie cuts and starts back over from the first time you see dream-world Birch, and it’s revealed that’s it’s supposed to be some form of Groundhog Day hell.

This movie is extremely frustrating and senseless. There are so many holes, and trying to figure out why or how anything happens is useless. I have watched this movie twice, and the latter may be my last time. You can argue with yourself about why things happen or try to analyze it, but it’s useless. There’s always a counterpoint that trumps the rational thought. I feel as crazy as the movie after watching it, and there has never been a movie that made me so angry after it was over. To those who watch it, good luck.

I’m glad it’s over.

Worst Horror Movie: The Exorcism of Emily Rose

On By James CastroIn Movies, ReviewsLeave a comment

If there is a cardinal sin the makers of a horror movie can commit it would certainly be making their film boring. When deciding on what film to declare my “least favorite” horror movie I debated on whether I could even include this film…as most of the film is a courtroom drama…with little bits of horror thrown in. After much consideration I decided this was the worst horror film to me…and not for the reasons many expect.

The Exorcism of Emily Rose is the movie I always return to when I think of the “worst” horror movie. No it’s not as atrocious as many of the cheesy horror fare, it has very strong performances from its cast, and when the film does horror it can actually achieve a very creepy mood and contains a lot of elements that stick with you (watch this movie and try waking up at 3 am without feeling a bit creeped out). So how does it fail so spectacularly?

Here’s how:

Pacing and Tone: The movie is very slow. That doesn’t have to be bad. The original Dracula and Frankenstein films were slow. Many great films have used a slow pace to build to a crescendo. And certainly the exorcism we see toward the end of the film is the most interesting part of the movie, but the pace of the film didn’t build to it. And its portrayal underlines the principle problem of the movie. The main story isn’t really Emily Rose’s exorcism. The movie should be called The Trial of the Priest Who Performed the Exorcism of Emily Rose. Since the story takes place during the trial, after the exorcism, the result of eponymous exorcism is known from the film’s first scene. The rest of the possession narrative is told in retrospect. And since the people telling the story are around to tell their part it robs the demon segments of the story of any suspense. This leaves the tension of the story resting entirely on the outcome of the COURT CASE. In a movie about an exorcism our interests are supposed to be vested in the result of a trial. This cuts down on the horror tone exponentially and just as you start to get that nice, horror movie feeling you’re ripped back into cross examinations and plea negotiations. In fact the film is so wrapped in the court case all of the character development and story arcs revolve around those involved in the case, using the exorcism as a set up for a narrative rather than the central point of it. It’s almost as though the filmmakers set out to make a courtroom drama about an exorcism, then toward the end of production decided to throw in some horror elements (some are quite good, some horribly clichéd and have been done so much better by The Exorcist and The Omen.) This “last minute” horror feel is what makes Emily Rose feel like a movie that almost doesn’t belong in the horror category at all…

Skeptics vs True Believers: This may be the biggest opportunity missed. The film makers set up a fascinating dichotomy of a “true believer” lawyer prosecuting the priest and an agnostic defending him and his exorcism. The prosecution goes on about psychiatric and medical conditions that can cause possession-like states, and all are FAR more convincing than the demon parts of the story. It sets up what could have been a “let the audience decide” story of “was it or wasn’t it” a possession. BUT the narrative shows you that according to the movie it was a demon. We see her getting “possessed.” We see the shadowy demonic activities impacting the agnostic prosecutor. We hear testimony from a friendly, smiling, peaceful, attractive pseudo-scientist who talks about how real possession is in direct contrast to the testimony of a doctor played by an actor so known for his slimy characters he played a rogue government official in a friggin Jack Ryan movie. I would have loved to see the evidence presented evenly so both sides are shown as plausible. It would let an audience think and decide what they believe occurred. Instead this film skirts with “here’s a possibility for the skeptics” but then, like the ending of Clue says, “now here’s what really happened.” In the end the “skeptic” part of an exorcism story was done better in The Exorcist when Father Karras declares the demon possessing little Regan identifying itself as “the devil” is as crazy as if she said she was Napoleon Bonaparte. One line. Just as effective. Leaving more screen time for the tense horror for which that film is known.

There’s a famous piece of advice given to writing students that goes something like this: Is what we’re seeing the most interesting part of the story? If not why aren’t we seeing that instead? This concept is at the heart of the problem with The Exorcism of Emily Rose. We have a story about an exorcism. A story with some of the best possession visuals seen to date, thanks largely to the terrific performance by Jennifer Carpenter as Emily. Great horror visuals. Creepy themes. All this crammed into about 20-30 minutes sprinkled throughout the film. We see a courtroom drama unfold. And one that is so wooden, gray, and dreary that it can’t hold a candle to other films in that genre either. Yes A Few Good Men is almost science fiction in its portrayal of courtroom activities, but it’s a hell of a good story and builds to a rousing conclusion. Emily Rose, though it had the acting chops with Laura Linney and Tom Wilkinson, instead goes for a somber, quiet tone in the courtroom. It’s a horror movie without much horror and a courtroom movie with dull courtroom scenes.

And it COULD have been so much more. It had all the right elements to be a horror classic, and instead is a compromised drag so ponderous and flatly presented it could’ve been directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Because of this I see this movie as one of the biggest missed opportunities in modern horror history, and a dull, flat horror movie to watch. It’s not even fun to mock as so many other so-called bad horror movies are. Making it my choice for Worst Horror Movie.