The Ice Cream Man: A Quick Study

On April 13, 2014April 12, 2014 By R. PettyIn OpinionsLeave a comment

As I stood in my yard this week, I heard Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer echoing through the neighborhood. At Christmas time, this would not be a problem, however this was a couple of nights ago around 8:30. The music was coming from a decorated white van. It was the ice cream man.

This got me thinking that ice cream men are pretty creepy, and in some cases evil. I asked a few family members and friends about their ice cream-man experiences, and everyone had a story…

Here are the top reasons people think they are creepy:

1. The van. In some places ice cream men drive trucks, but in my neighborhood, it’s a white van that resembles a kidnapper’s van. They’re huge, drive really slow, and all the windows are whited or blacked out. We teach our kids to avoid vehicles such as these, but the ice cream man is okay and kids trust him unconditionally.
2. The music. Before ours played Christmas tunes, I always heard Pop Goes the Weasel, which is an odd choice because of the lyrics and meaning. The last couple years ours play Christmas music year round – Rudolph, Santa’s Coming to Town, Jingle Bells – five or six times a day any day the weather is above 40 degrees. This winter they would cruise through at dusk, hours after school dismissed.
3. Appearance. I’ve never seen an attractive ice cream man. They usually are a little to very overweight (they probably do eat ice cream all day) and pretty sweaty and unshaven, especially in the summer. There’s this guy too!

Sweet Tooth from Twisted Metal. Photo by: gamezone.com

4. Solitary lifestyle. They drive around all day alone, listening to peppy, children’s music, waiting for children to come out. You never see two people in a van.
5. Magnetism. This isn’t always a good thing. As my RevPub partner eloquently said, “[they have] a fairytale, witch-like ability to tempt small children.” Little kids can’t help but drop what they are doing the second they hear him coming. He does have sweet delicious treats! The ice cream man may be responsible for beginning addictive behaviors in children.

Here are some stories I gathered:

1. My niece claims the ice cream man stole her friend’s wallet right out of her back pocket.
2. My RevPub partner recalls a time he and his sister went out for ice cream, and the man took off down the street. They chased after him with money, and he never turned around.
3. My hubby remembers going up to the van, and there was a gorgeous girl, not a man. He was so stunned he forgot what he was doing there (see previous number 3).

Of course, we still support the ice cream man and welcome him into our neighborhoods. Here’s to lots of cool treats in the summer, and feel free to share your ice cream man stories in the comments below!

5 Reasons to Play Board Games

On April 6, 2014April 5, 2014 By R. PettyIn OpinionsLeave a comment

“The way a man plays a game shows some of his character. The way he loses shows all of it.” — Unknown

Ticket to Ride

In honor of the second annual International Tabletop Game Day and all the fun we had, here are the top reasons to play board games:

1. Have fun. This is most important. It’s not about winning or ego, and there shouldn’t be any drama. We have a rule in our house: If you start to get upset or cop an attitude, we quit. It keeps things (and people) from getting emotional and ruining a good game.
Examples: Any board game as long as everyone stays cool

2. Get together. Guess what? It’s REALLY hard to play a board game and stay attached to your phone. Board games get everyone off their devices and allow people to spend time together. Many board games involve teams or strategies, so you have to work together to accomplish a goal or win. This may create a bond between people who normally would not connect.
Examples: Pandemic, Ticket to Ride, Castle Panic

3. Be mean. This is probably my favorite reason. I LOVE to screw people over in board games. It’s nothing personal, and I expect the same thing in return. Most times, you like the people playing with you, and you wouldn’t try to really hurt them, but sometimes they deserve a game back stab. And most times, they know they do. Harmful vindictiveness can be very therapeutic, too.
Examples: Zombies!, Small World, Sorry!

4. Meet new people. I’ve met at least one person every game day we’ve attended. I may or may not have something in common with them, but it doesn’t matter because we’re just playing the game. You also learn a lot about people while tabletop gaming. You learn their interests, strategies, and weaknesses. People tend to open up a little, which helps you learn about them without the awkwardness.

5. Make memories. We spend so much time documenting every miniscule moment to social media sites, but will your best friend remember what you had for dinner last week? Probably not. Will they remember you sending 20 zombies after them in a game? Oh yeah. Making memories and having a story to tell is what life should be about – not the daily grind.

As far as game titles, play anything you want. Don’t be afraid to get creative and try something new! The TableTop series produces great videos showing the game play, and you can buy most of the games online.

Feel free to share your favorite games in the comments below!

The End of the World (of Battle) as We Know It

On March 26, 2014March 25, 2014 By James CastroIn Games, OpinionsLeave a comment

As a Warhammer fan living in Tennessee I’ve always been relatively lucky. My orders ship very quickly, shops are usually well-stocked, and there are a lot of hobbyists to create a pretty good community. Part of this is because the Games Workshop North American Headquarters was located in my state; Memphis to be exact.
I live a fair drive from Memphis but not too far. Not so far that it’s excusable that I’d never before visited the Memphis HQ and gaming site “World of Battle” over the last couple of years. I was suddenly motivated to do so when they broke the news on their Facebook page they would be effected by the Games Workshop restructuring (they are centralizing their operations back in Nottingham rather than maintaining multi-employee shops and several international HQs) and would be converting the epic World of Battle gaming hall into a single-person store on the day this post goes out, March 26th 2014. With that news I knew I’d be heading to Memphis before that occurred so I could see the World of Battle while still in its epic-scale format.
A couple of non-Warhammer folks came along for the ride, and even they were impressed and became interested in the hobby just being in the environment.

The outside of the building itself was impressive, the huge imperial eagle and the wicked space marine statue standing guard.

The full-sized Blood Angel still stands in the shop and he’s just as intimidating as a 7-foot tall bloke in red armor would be. Especially since he carried a gun the size of my torso.

There’s a nice case with Eldar Striking Scorpion gear in it. It is stylized to look like it’s been collected and tagged by an Ordo Xenos agent.

Loved this Ork Waaagh-Bannah!

This city table was amazing. We kept wandering around it looking at all the details.

This fantasy castle was equally incredible.

One of my favorite sections was the back hall that contained “historical artifacts” from Games Workshop’s history. And a GREAT Dark Angels banner.

I’m not a Games Workshop hater. They are a publicly traded company, they are beholden to make a profit for their shareholders, they do things for business reasons certainly, etc. They have also create a GREAT gaming system, painting systems, and as I said in my Kharn post, one of the best “worlds” I’ve seen in fiction. Some of their decisions, however, I can’t see as being positive. I had a ton of fun in the Woodfield Mall store while I was in Chicago. I went two nights in five days and just swapped war stories (“The Little Commissar who Could” one of the clerks told me was terrific) the same was true for World of Battle. I got a chance to chat with Price there about Imperial Knights tactics, the benefits of the new Crimson Slaughter Supplement, and creative use of bits to make unique terrain. He never tried to sell me anything. Just discussed it. I just wanted to BUY everything.

Even my two friends came away interested, just being in the environment and watching the massive Last Stand battle going on.

I think this is the kind of place GW needs to retain. It brings people in. Gets them started. Just being in the presence of this kind of World of Battle sparks fascination in everyone, Warhammer fanatics, neophytes, and outsiders.

I’m hopeful that as Games Workshop completes its restructuring and rebuilds itself as in a modern economic environment World of Battle will rise from the ashes and opens its epic gaming hall tables for North American Hobbyists.

World of Battle’s FB Page!

4 Ways to Stay Young at Heart

On March 9, 2014March 7, 2014 By R. PettyIn OpinionsLeave a comment

By: Joey Petty (guest writer)

With healthy diets and workouts sweeping the nation in efforts to live longer, it’s important to remember those won’t necessarily keep you young at heart.

I am fast closing in on the big 40 and am still in great touch with my youthful side. So, I thought I would share some tips that will keep all of us from turning into that old geezer we swore we would never become.

Try some new music. We all have favorite genres and artists, however, try something completely different and see if it fits you. Recently, I have become hooked on female-fronted pop-core or punk-pop. Paramore was the first band I tried. After realizing how much I enjoyed this upbeat, feel-good music, I found similar bands that were harder (Picture Me Broken) or softer (Darling Parade) that provided me with an energizing youthful feel. I am among the older fans at the concerts, but I am never the oldest!

Read a young adult book. If you have not read Harry Potter, shame on you! Books can help you remember the problems you faced as an adolescent and all the joys that followed. As I got older, I became more work and family focused. Not that it is a bad thing, but I love getting lost in a fantasy that reminds me of my past aspirations. It also helps me realize it is never too late to follow my dreams.

Watch cartoons. There is nothing that simple, slapstick, nonsensical humor can’t cure. Cartoons are one of the best stress relievers. A simple episode of SpongeBob can make a bad day disappear into laughs. “It could be worse, you could be bald and have a big nose,” is my favorite quote whenever someone is having a bad day.

Play a game. If you’ve ever watched Tabletop, then you see how board games can help you relive the “glory days”. There are numerous simple card games as well (Flux, Munchkin), and they will have you laughing and hanging out with friends like you used to. If you are a hardcore gamer, there are now more ways to connect online and play than ever before. If you are the athletic type, try an adult athletic league (even kickball) to rev up your engines.

You may feel younger, and be surprised when you better understand your kids and his or her friends when you can remember that it is alright to let out a bit of your wild side.

Feel free to share your tips and comments below!

Trends in Modern Storytelling in Film: Conan – Conclusion and The Riddle of Steel

On March 5, 2014March 4, 2014 By James CastroIn Movies, Opinions, Reviews1 Comment

OffTheCharts

What is the riddle of steel? The 1982 film asked this question in some of its first spoken dialogue, in 2011 it is asked in the forge, in both films it is posed by Conan’s father.

In 2011 the answer is given in the same scene “fire and ice” provides the strength of steel. Meaning of course that as heated/quenched steel is best tempered, a spirit that consists of equal parts furious passion and level-headed temperance is indomitable. A fine lesson for the young Conan, but one he has trouble mastering throughout the film.

Ron Perlman as Conan’s father in the 2011 film teaching his son about steel.

In the 1982 film the answer is provided but never written down on a piece of paper, tied to a rock, and thrown at the audience’s collective forehead so the audience must interpret the answer, and not everyone’s is guaranteed to be the exactly same.

Conan’s original solution is to rely on the strength of steel. He blunders from place to place, hacking and slashing, until he comes face-to-face with Doom, whose legion of followers catches him easily and Thulsa Doom provides him another answer: flesh is stronger. Steel is fine, but with his horde of fervent acolytes succumbing to his false prophet-eering, some willing to turn on and murder their own parents, Doom can overcome steel. Was that the answer then? If so Conan and the world were doomed. But that wasn’t the answer either. During the last battle with Doom’s lieutenants Valeria keeps her promise, that not even death could stop her from fighting by his side, and aids Conan when he most needs it. Then, renewed with strength, Conan rises to his feet, shatters his opponent’s sword, his father’s sword, and destroys the High Priest of Set, a man bigger, stronger, filled with faith in a false prophet, and with steel forged by the very man who provided Conan the riddle. Then looking at the shattered sword, he crosses his weapons in his battle-pit salute and bows his head to the Valeria’s funerary altar. This battle was for her, and she gave him the answer at last: steel is weak, flesh is weak, but the strength of true belief and true purpose can overcome greater steel, greater strength, and any false beliefs no matter how powerful in the brutal world of Hyboria.

Conan then takes his father’s broken sword and kills Thulsa Doom and burns his temple to ash; neither taking his place as a new demagogue nor slaughtering his followers. It is at this point that James Earl Jones suggests Conan becomes a hero. By destroying the cult of Set and Doom he does something “for the whole world” not just himself. For the betterment of everyone, not just for his own revenge. Meaning there is a progression of the character, from wrathful to heroic. And doing it all not as a “chosen one” but just driven by his own will. Not a god nor a giant. Just a man. Finding the answer to his riddle.

Where does this leave forging a narrative in modern filmmaking? Without sounding as old-mannish as shouting “things were better when…” I would like to at least silently mouth it. Mostly because this trend has exploded into all forms of media; popular books, movies, music, video games; a trend where the narrative is so simple and closed it leaves no room to grow and has been dropped to the lowest common denominator. Plots now have to be obvious, spelled out, and blatant. Scenes have to be short, colorful, and loud. Characters have to be broad and exaggerated. Nothing can be implied in a character’s personality or purpose; it must be shown in excruciating detail (lengthy sequences of flashbacks, voice-overs, and “childhood” scenes instead of effective montaging done in older films) or spoken in needless expositionary dialogue. To quote the Robot Devil from Futurama, “Your lyrics lack subtlety! You can’t just have your characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry!” So why do the various industries want to remove all nuance and just have their characters simply announce how they feel? The answer is simple: it’s easier and they have very low opinions of us…

This is definitely not an indictment to say “all new movies bad, all older movies good” but there is something to the reduction in intricacy of a lot of newer media. I for one would like to see less hand-holding and provide room to let the audience divine its own answers or at least take the narrative training wheels off.

I never again want to have a roadmap explaining all the stops during a tale of high adventure!

The author's take on mini-Conan — The author’s take on mini-Conan

Passion: Use It or Lose It

On March 2, 2014March 1, 2014 By R. PettyIn OpinionsLeave a comment

A few years ago, a colleague posted a Facebook status that stuck with me: How much is your employer paying you to ignore your dreams?

I remember thinking how fortunate I was to love what I do. I am grateful to have a job in my field doing something I love. It took a lot of work, though.

I’ve been criticized most of my life for not falling into line, not striving to make a ton of money, or getting into a more in-demand field. Sure, I could have managed a chain of stores or majored in another subject, but I didn’t. I majored in a language I love to do the only job I envisioned doing the rest of my life. My passion for reading and language mean more to me than any salary. I can work 50-60 hours a week, barely sleep, and fight migraines because I love what I do. It’s worth it.

True happiness, not just contentment, stems from passion. If you’re not passionate, then you just go through the motions, looking back 20 years later asking what the #$#@? Where has my life gone? Ignoring your passions makes you hollow. You become numb and have difficulty finding happiness in anything – especially yourself.

Passion is something you must exercise. And those who have it, show it. You see it in their work, attitude, physical appearance, and general happiness. The ones who love what they do radiate enthusiasm and inspire others to do the same.

So what do you to do ensure your practicing your passions?

1. Discover it. What fulfills you? Try different things and move on if you don’t feel completely attached to it. Once you find it, you’ll know. You’ll crave it. You’ll need it, and if you don’t have it, you’ll feel incomplete.

2. Make time for it. If you truly love it, you will never be too busy for it. If you don’t practice it, it lingers in the back of your mind – nagging at you. My peeps are great examples of this tip because they have full-time jobs, relationships, and families, but still live their passions. One illustrates. One teaches hot yoga. Another plays guitar. Another plays video games. And they do these things almost every day.

3. Stand up for it. Who cares what <fill in the blank> thinks? It doesn’t matter if they criticize it. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, not theirs. And if they really love you, they should see how important it is to you.

4. Never settle. This is the most dangerous action we can take. Settling can lead to regret and doubt. To our knowledge, we only live once so make the best of it. Find your path and follow it, even if it’s exhausting. Once you get there, you’ll be glad you kept going.

5. Remember your dreams. Life gets in the way of almost everything. Deal with it. Don’t stop believing in yourself and your dreams. If you find another passion and drop another one, that’s okay. If you have several, work them all in. Strive to do what you love and never give up.

Here are some of my favorite people who live their passions!

Bucket List Publications

Cinemassacre/AVGN

Geek and Sundry