Ghost Story #3: Sounds in the Dark

On October 10, 2012October 13, 2012 By James CastroIn Short Stories3 Comments

As I said in my FIRST ghosty-post I’m a cynic who starts from skepticism until I experience something that forces me to accept a different conclusion. Most of the time I search for other explanations before coming to “it’s ghosts!” or “it’s bigfoot!” Though I start as a skeptic once unexplainable evidence is presented I am willing to accept the supernatural explanation.

If nothing else just so, in the movie of my own personal ghost story, I’m not the guy everyone hates yelling “It was just the wind!” to the characters you’re supposed to like.

Sounds in the Dark

I work in a creepy building. Most of it is typical office space, but there are eerie places; “the stacks,” entire floors which consist of rows and rows long dark aisles of books or boxes. Policy is you turn off the lights when you leave a stack area so I’ve gotten into the habit of only turning on the lights I need so I never accidentally forget and leave lights on. There are rumors that our second floor, where our manuscript documents are kept, is haunted but I never really believed it. I couldn’t imagine what ghost would want to spend its ethereal eternity amidst old boxes and books. I attributed the spooky stories to the fact that the second floor looks the creepiest. Most of our other stack areas have small castle-turret style windows. The second floor has none, so it’s just the glow of the exit signs and whatever lights you turn on.

Dark Corridor Stack Two — The main aisle of the second floor with the lights out, how I usually see it.

Over the years I got used to wandering around in the dark up there, counting steps to switches and navigating in the dark. There used to be one gate I could get into without a key (had to know the trick!) so I would always use that door no matter which end of the floor I was going to.

One afternoon I needed to retrieve something from the second floor so, as usual I went to two, entered the gate I could break into, and started my way down the main corridor in the dark. I needed to go ALL the way down to the other end, but I didn’t mind the dark and quiet.

I was maybe a third of the way down the corridor when I heard the distinct sound of a box being pulled from a shelf…then replaced. I stopped to listen, there are many sounds on that floor, machine room sounds, vents, noises from floors above, but none were as easily identifiable (I’ve pulled hundreds of boxes from these metal shelves, I know that sound…) as this…or as close. I started walking again and heard it again, box sliding off the metal…then sliding back on. It was coming from the 1^st range…the range I was going to. I heard it at least two more times as I got closer. I flipped the switch on the 1^st range and peered cautiously around the corner.

Nothing there.

I went through the possibilities… Either another staff member was pulling boxes in the dark, replaced everything, jumped on the ceiling, and skittered away when I arrived…or…it was a ghost. “Ghost” was actually the most plausible explanation in this case! And least frightening…

Since then I’ve heard other sounds, including high-heeled shoes trailing along a few feet behind me as I navigated the ranges. A friend and I also went ghost hunting on the second floor (with my android ghost app once!) and we both heard disembodied shuffling right behind us down a dark corridor we’d just come down. Despite this I never feel unsettled or afraid…more fascinated.

Now I look forward to going to that floor. You never know what you might find in the strangest places.

Second floor ghost — A coworker walked down the corridor after I opened the shutter. Looks like a ghost to me!

Ghost Story #1: Lurking Around College

On October 3, 2012October 3, 2012 By James CastroIn Random Fun, Short Stories2 Comments

My belief in ghosts is complicated. My logical side can’t quite grasp why the spirit of a deceased life would linger around here and creep people out or repeatedly do the same tasks over and over. On the other hand, my willingness to accept that we know very little about the natural world causes me to believe that all that energy a life possesses must go somewhere, so why not retain a consciousness as a “ghost” or something we don’t fully understand? At the same time I think if my energy, consciousness, or spirit lingered around after I died and could interact with people and my environment I would ABSOLUTELY creep people out, so that’s a double tick next to the “maybe there are ghosts” column.

Even my logical side struggles with some of what I experience and this month, as the far more fetching half of RevPub stated in her last post, I thought I would share some of my more unexplainable experiences. Starting with one from college.

I lived in an internal, single dorm in college. Roommate life was definitely not for me so sophomore-senior years I lived in a dorm where I had a room to myself. Unlike the 1960s-style hotel dorms on campus where all the rooms opened to the outside, this building was a brick structure with offices on the first floor, a keypad (with a 4-digit number to unlock it) that opened to the second floor where all the dorm rooms were.

One night I was carrying groceries in several bags. I shifted bags when I got to the locked door to the dorms, so I was holding them all in one hand so I could input the unlock code into the number pad. I glanced over my shoulder and saw another guy behind me. He had an annoying, hipster-ish Hey, Hey we’re the Monkees Mickey Dolenz haircut and wore a retro orangey striped shirt.

The Monkees — That’s him second from the right. Hair just like that!

Shirt — Not exactly like this but close. It was more like this without the broad yellow bands, just rows and rows of the narrower stripes.

I input the correct number and gently, but firmly, kicked the door open. I nudged it open with my elbow enough to let the dude behind me get in too. I hadn’t seen him before and didn’t get a good look at him. Technically I wasn’t supposed to let a stranger in, but rather than be a jerk I thought I’d just let him tailgate through the door and not have to go through the trouble of entering the entrance number. I got a little annoyed by how close this guy was behind me up the stairs (which curved twice and had one landing), and I glanced at him again over my shoulder with kind of a “want to give me some space?” look as I heard the door close downstairs. My room was RIGHT next to the top of the stairs, and as I approached my door and put my bags down, I glanced back at him again and he was gone… I calmly held my keys quiet and walked to the stairs, looking over the rail and listening for footsteps. No one was on the stairs. No one opened the door downstairs. No one went down the hallway. My logical side took over and said, “maybe I just missed him…maybe he went back down as soon as I reached my door…maybe I even imagined him.” But I knew he was there. I saw him. Got annoyed at him. Remembered what he was wearing and how he looked… And more than anything there was a feeling that someone WAS there and something wasn’t right about the way they just weren’t there anymore… To this day I can’t say for sure, “I saw a ghost!” but that was a little unusual…

Stay tuned for more personal supernatural stories from both RevPub authors during the whole month of October, leading up to our favorite holiday! Halloween is the most wonderful time of the year, the only day I can legitimately dress like a killer, monster, or zombie and everyone thinks it’s fun.

Off the Top of My Head #5: Winning Hearts and Minds with Goldie the Black and Yellow Garden Spider

On September 26, 2012September 26, 2012 By James CastroIn Opinions, Random Fun2 Comments

I once had a serious brown recluse infestation. A flat, cardboard glue trap designed to ensure that our cat, Sweetie, had beaten her flea problem, caught one giant brown recluse. Afterward more traps caught dozens, sometimes HUNDREDS more, of all sizes all over the room. Needless to say it caused nightmares and paranoia, but, believe it or not, after a while I got used to them. I’d sit in the floor, playing guitar or drawing, and see one creep by. I’d smash the life out of it, and then go right back to business as usual. I have since traded my brown recluse infestation with a cellar spider infestation. They EAT brown recluses but are harmless to people so I say it’s a fair, natural, “circle of life” kind of trade.

Spiders creep people out. Often the reasons for this are “they have too many legs,” or “too many eyes,” or “they’re dangerous.” Mostly I think it’s because they’re an unseen threat, we usually only notice them if something is wrong, like we’re bitten or we see them in an unusual are like a bedroom or kitchen. I think of it this way: I had hundreds of brown recluses stuck to glue traps. I only ever saw 20 or so running loose alive. As far as I know I was never bitten and who knows how many were actually roaming around that I DIDN’T see and weren’t in the traps. So maybe my infestation was good for me, it got me accustomed to them and taught me a bit about fear.

It gave me a new spider policy: I bring them no harm, no matter how dangerous they may be, so long as they’re outside. I’ve even released a brown recluse that a friend asked me to identify, she brought him to me in a cup and I felt if I killed her it would feel like executing a prisoner of war…somehow just wrong… If they are inside I typically bring them no harm if they are harmless. Woe to the poor brown recluse that staggers through my defenses into my room now though…dangerous ones in my space I treat like invaders…

But most people hate spiders, even those outside. During my vacation the first week of August I left my home and came across her:

She built her web at the end of our carport and I immediately recognized her as a gold and black, or yellow and black, garden spider. I knew she was harmless and her web was so impressive I implored everyone in the house to let her be. Everyone wholeheartedly agreed and, despite the fact that she was initially considered creepy by some, she has grown on us. She was named “Goldie” and we put up a sign to warn package delivery services to not destroy her web or bring her any harm.

Goldie the female Yellow and Black Spider.

Every morning we check her web, see if she’s caught any food (it’s usually in tatters from the moths and other insects she’s skewered) and every now and then she’s draining some poor meal (I still feel for the eaten bugs…what a way to go..)

Goldie Snack — That was a WASP. She had quite a meal there…

Goldie has become kind of an outside pet. We are pleased to see she’s eating well (I’ve tried to offer up some superworms which unfortunately flew straight through her web), we cheered when she built not one but TWO massive egg sacs, but we lament that, despite the safety of her location from birds, she will not likely find a mate in the carport…

Goldie the spider changed the hearts and minds of many around here who feared or disliked spiders. The fear of spiders is largely irrational; as are most fears. Remember a world without spiders is a world full of cockroaches, moths, and flies! And I for one am much happier with these lovely little killers out there.

Here’s a video of Goldie spinning her web. Forgive the raw version of it I took it in a rush THIS morning and haven’t had time to edit it yet. I had never before seen her doing this and was pretty excited to get it on video at all!

Off the Charts: Karl’s Travel Diary for Idiot Abroad Series 1

On September 19, 2012September 19, 2012 By James CastroIn Opinions, Projects, Random Fun, ReviewsLeave a comment

In the last post I discussed Idiot Abroad Series 1 where Karl visits the seven wonders of the world. In addition to the documentary that was made, Karl also kept a travel diary, logging his thoughts and experiences. I found a UK edition on Amazon and picked it up after watching the show. It’s a great addition to what’s seen during the series..

Karl started keeping a diary when he visited Gran Canaria years ago. Passages of it were read on The Ricky Gervais XFM radio show and were absolutely some of my favorite moments from the podcasts. This diary is different as it is more observations of a trip rather than observations of everyday life.

Much of what is said in the diary is said in voice over or interview on the show, but there were some real surprises.

The first surprise was the episodes weren’t shown in the order they were filmed. The diary starts with Karl getting his shots before travel and heading…to Egypt. Those of us who watched the show on TV or on DVD were probably expecting China to be first as it’s the first episode shown. He then goes to Brazil, India, Mexico, China, Jordan, and finally ending with Peru, just about the only episode shown in the order it was produced. I’m not sure why they were shown out of order, but seeing the journey from beginning to in from Karl’s personal perspective provides a better view of his travels.

There were also sections Karl mentions in his diary that do not appear in the show or in the deleted scenes. One was Karl learning to drive a rickshaw in India. Anyone who knows how much Karl likes bikes would have known how well he’d do that but he was told he drove too fast by the instructor. Another memorable incident is the dog farm he visited in China. Dogs are raised for food and sold for that purpose. Karl raises the concept that cows and chickens are raised for food and it doesn’t seem so different. He found it more strange that the owner of the farm had a dog as a pet that he would never cook and eat.

Other items were expansions on things we did see in the show, but provided a better glimpse at Karl and his personality. One moment, that was actually rather touching, was Karl’s interactions with Ashek, the rickshaw driver and restauranteur in India. In the show it appeared as Karl didn’t want to stay with Ashek in the back of his shop and jumped at the chance to stay at a nicer place owned by Ashek’s friend when it was offered. In the book (which contains a number of transcriptions of recorded conversations Karl had, including interactions with locals and phone calls from Steve and Ricky) you see Karl’s compassion for Ashek. Ashek was ill, barely showed up to meet the Idiot Abroad team, and yet still worked both his jobs. Instead of Karl immediately leaving Ashek’s crowded one-room home as shown in the program, Karl initially offers Ashek the nicer house. He tells him, “How about this: I leave you to have a nice night’s sleep? You’ve been working hard all day. Why don’t you stay at your friend’s house, and we’ll stay here…I want you to have a bit of goodness in your life.” Ashek, true to his customary hospitality and courtesy, refuses repeatedly and they eventually go to the nicer residence.

The diary, to me, only works as a companion to the show. It might make sense and be a fun read for those who haven’t seen the show, but in my perspective some of the fun is left out if you can’t picture where Karl is and what he’s doing. It does provide a much better view of the entire show, and is a terrific addition for fans, not only for what it adds to what’s on screen, but to what it adds to what fans may know of Karl’s personality. It’s also a VERY quick read and well laid out. The beginning of each “wonder’s” chapter has a famous quote from a philosopher, historian, or explorer about the wonder juxtaposed with one of Karl’s making for a great intro to each locale.

I’ve seen and enjoyed the second season of Idiot Abroad and Karl kept a diary for that trip too. I know, having enjoyed this one, I’ll definitely get that one too.

If you were unfamiliar with the weird world of Karl Pilkington I hope this was a decent introduction. It’s a consistently funny, sometimes enlightening, frequently confusing, and always entertaining place to visit!

Karl, Steve, and Ricky

Off the Charts: An Idiot Abroad Series 1

On September 13, 2012September 12, 2012 By James CastroIn Opinions, Projects, Reviews1 Comment

As I mentioned in my last post, a friend at work suggested this show to me after finding out I enjoyed the show River Monsters. I resisted it at first base solely on the title. I couldn’t imagine a worse program, but I was picturing “idiots” on the level of the reality TV celebrities that appear on the covers of magazines at the grocery store. I also don’t watch too much TV so to start a new show was one of those, “how will I work this into the schedule” prospects. I saw part of a marathon on a Sunday several weeks ago and found it to be one of the funniest TV shows I’ve seen in ages.

The premise is simple, Ricky Gervais and Steve Merchant send Karl Pilkington around the world to see the seven wonders of the world. Karl, as I mentioned in my last post is an individual with a simple and unique perspective on things. He’s never cruel or judgmental, he just often expresses his naive or simplistic opinions in as blunt a manner possible. Ricky wanted to torture Karl for fun, as he claims it’s the most expensive practical joke he’s ever played; Steven wanted to broaden Karl’s perspective. Karl was just kind of along for the ride.

There are only eight episodes, and each one is full of terrific moments of Karl exploring foreign countries and cultures. The best aspect of each show are Karl’s opinions and his narration where he breaks down complex social customs in the most simplistic way possible. Often lost, hungry, obsessed with finding familiarity (especially in toilets), and out-of-his-depth, Karl is sent on various expeditions and takes part in numerous surprise activities assigned to him by Ricky and Steven via phone or text. Here are my favorite moments in Series 1:

Episode 1: The Great Wall of China (China)

Karl experiences the street food vendors in China and witnesses scorpions, geckos, and toads for food. Possibly my favorite moment is when he realizes his driver is eating an egg with a fetus in it!
Karl does some Kung Fu training with the Shaolin Monks, including watching his instructor throw a needle through a pane of glass (Karl hits the cameraman on his go…)
Karl’s description of the Great Wall as “the Alright Wall of China.”

Episode 2: The Taj Mahal (India)

Karl goes to the Kumbh Mela festival to see the various babas present. He describes one as looking like Jim Morrison. And is shocked at the somewhat horrifying abilities of Elephant Baba’s friend…and his walking stick…
In one of the most endearing moments of the series, Karl spends time with a swamiji. He actually enjoys the experience and just describes him as a “good bloke” rather than any kind of mystical power. And he seemed to be.
Karl thinks the Taj Mahal was built by a guilty husband. He claims if he built his girlfriend, Suzanne, something like that she’d say, “What’s been going on?!”

Episode 3: Petra (Jordan)

Karl goes through military training to learn what to do if he’s kidnapped.
Karl visits Christ’s birthplace but finds the nearby border wall between Palestine and Israel more impactful as it effects the people living on either side every day.
Karl proves his belief that “it is better to live in a hole and look at a palace than to live in a palace and look at the hole” by spending the night in a cave across from the treasury at Petra; an experience he truly enjoyed!

Episode 4: Chichen Itza (Mexico)

Karl does some Mexican wrestling with “The Shocker!”
Eating wasp larvae with Mayans and trading some Monster Munch “crisps” with some of the villagers (which they seemed to enjoy)
Dancing to British New Wave music and feeding a large lizard hobnobs at Chichen Itza.

Episode 5: The Great Pyramids (Egypt)

Belly dancing on his Nile Cruise!
Karl’s comment on a nice apartment near a call to prayer speaker was that the real estate agent only takes people to see the property when the call to prayer isn’t blaring. Another moment where his simple opinion is likely 100% correct!
Karl description of the great pyramid as a “game of Jenga that’s got out of hand.”

Episode 6: Christ the Redeemer (Brazil)

Karl dances in a samba line during Rio Carnival!
Karl’s tour of Rio with local man, Celso.
Karl sees the Christ the Redeemer statue by helicopter. He is more excited about having ridden in a helicopter than seeing the “wonder.” In his words he “enjoyed riding in the helicopter…and the Jesus thing was alright as well.”

Episode 7: Machu Picchu (Peru)

Karl camps in the woods with his own home-made toilet (a camping chair with a hole cut into it).
Karl stays with a tribe that used to be cannibals and attempts to teach them Connect 4 (he thinks they don’t understand it because they never count higher than three in primitive tribes)
Karl describes Machu Picchu as “magnificent”…in an effort to not have to walk any further around it and just end the show with a long shot from the point they had reached. When he saw the first buildings of the complex he remarks in a desire to stop before reaching the top, “It’s not like I’m looking for a house here. I’m not saying ‘just like this but with more outside space…'”

Episode 8: Karl Comes Home

Karl reveals his secret word in case he got kidnapped in Israel was “Congress tart.”
Karl’s scenario where he gets a free night of chicken from NOT having plans and just “going with it.”
In one of the funniest moments of the series the clip is played (from when Karl was in Peru) where Ricky reveals they changed the name of the program from Karl Pilkington’s Seven Wonders to An Idiot Abroad. Karl’s reaction is priceless.

Next time I’ll take a look at Karl’s travel diary. I read it in only a couple days and it shed extra light on some of the events shown in the show, and and extra insight into the inner-workings of Karl’s mind.

This whole video is good as he talks about tribal customs and invisible fish but the discussion of the name change starts at 4:18 and as always beware the language.

Off the Top of My Head #4: The Unconventional Wit and Wisdom of Karl Pilkington

On September 5, 2012September 5, 2012 By James CastroIn Art, Opinions, Projects, Random Fun, ReviewsLeave a comment

Genius is an objective concept. What might seem like genius to one person may seem absolutely ridiculous to another. What might seem simplistic may be brilliant. What is absurd and what is genius can be blurred by perspective and not all of us agree on what is profound and what is nonsense.

Enter Karl Pilkington.

A friend at work told me about the show Idiot Abroad and frankly due to the title and my lack of interest in the concept I resisted watching it. I since have seen the show, The Ricky Gervais Show HBO episodes, and read two of Karl’s books. Despite what Ricky Gervais believes, I think Karl is a kind of genius (which according to Ricky makes me an idiot too…), but like Ricky…I can’t get enough of his peculiar form of brilliant insanity. I’ve included several of videos featuring Karl in this post. All are hilarious, but be aware there is some typical Ricky Gervais-language in them.

For those who don’t know him, Karl Pilkington was a radio producer on Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant’s radio show. They found his unique outlook and simplistic views on things to be so entertaining they have since put him in their podcasts and twice sent him around the world.

Ricky refers to Karl as a “moron, he is a round, empty-headed chimp-like, mank moron. Buffoon. Idiot…but absolutely lovable.” Stephen Merchant states Karl is, “Some kind of real-life Homer Simpson…small minded, petty, but at his core a good person.”

I find Karl to be rather more intellectual and philosophical than idiotic; albeit in quite an unconventional way. Karl can ponder the functions of the human mind, the future, and discuss the nature of virtual life vs. real life. At the same time he believes dolphins with rifles escaped during Hurricane Katrina; that longer days on Mars are the cause for Martian technological advancement; and that monkeys can steal cars, serve as doctors, and fly spaceships via training with a banana chute.

Hearing Karl’s unconventional and sometimes seemingly mad ideas (like population control could be accomplished by having old women give birth to the next generation right before they die) it’s easy to jump to the conclusion that he is an idiot as Ricky describes. To me, despite his sometimes pessimistic tendencies, he seems to think with a positive attitude, meaning when he finds a story that interests him he doesn’t come at it from a perspective of, “this can’t be true.” Instead he comes at it from the angle, “why can’t this be true?” He approaches the stories he reads with a certain level of naivety, accepting what is presented simply because he “read it.” This can lead him to very unusual conclusions, and it doesn’t help that even legitimate stories he reads get, as Karl would say, “bungled in” with other stories and facts (like Mt. Everest growing and a piano being found on top of it.) I find his willingness to accept unrealistic concepts as refreshing and creative (even if he doesn’t always see it as creativity). Also, as he says when he selects a dictionary as the book he’d most want to bring to a desert island, he isn’t always able to express his thoughts in the clearest way. I know I’ve been there, so I identify with him when he struggles to put his thoughts into words.

His views are also completely void of vitriol or malice. When he talks about unusual people (he calls them all “freaks”), other cultures, poetry, and vacationing in other countries he doesn’t express a hateful opinion just his honest one. I actually prefer his honest, yet sometimes ignorant, perspective far more than the crowd-pleasing, phony, politically correct beliefs we see from most pundits.

It’s like Karl lives in his own world, and that would be a fascinating place to be…

If you are unfamiliar with Karl, look him up on the internet and/or get a copy of The Ricky Gervais Show on podcast or video. Even if you don’t think he’s a modern day philosopher (as I do!) you’re bound to laugh at his antics.

My next post will be a review of the first season of Karl’s travel program, An Idiot Abroad. A terrific show that puts an unconventional man in unfamiliar surroundings and hilarity ensues. For now, enjoy this, one of my favorite videos!

And check out Karl’s official site here!

Revenant Publications

Author: James Castro